“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine
You make me happy
When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away
The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
And I held
For many people it’s hard for them to grab hold of their joy. It’s fleeting. As soon as they think they’ve found the secret to happiness, it flees again. It’s a constant battle to snatch back pieces of their heart which sadness steals from them.
I am constantly saying to my girls: “Find your joy”. I’m not sure where it came from, but when they are grumpy, unkind or just plain miserable, I look them in the eye and remind them to search for it. Dig deep into the depths of your soul and find it. Find your joy. It’s yours, no-one else can take that away from you. We are our only sunshine.
I often have to remind myself to do the same thing. I easily get caught up in a downward spiral. Negativity plagues me and then I eat all of the things which makes me feel worse about myself. I tell myself things I’d never tell a friend. Actually, I’d never even tell a stranger many of things I tell myself. I was chatting with a friend online last night, a resilient woman with much grit. She said: “We are so tough on ourselves aren’t we?”. It struck a nerve with me. Why are we? Why am I?
Today, I’ve got a new rule. I suppose it’s like the classic saying – if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So, that’s my deal to myself. Before I internalise a thought and put it into my head to swirl around, plaguing me, I have to ask myself: “Would you say this to a friend?”. If the answer is no, then I don’t say it. Instead, replace it with either silence – go for a walk, make a cup of tea, chat on Facebook or do something fun with the kids. Or even better, switch the thought around and put a positive slant on it.
Today my head is a lot quieter than normal. I haven’t quite got the ‘switch it to a positive thought every time’ part worked out just yet, so I’m staying mainly silent. It will come. It takes time to change your head space.
Have you told yourself you are amazing today? Try it.
Ps: I made kale chips yesterday. They are completely overrated.
That’s perfect Bianca. There is always a bit of joy to be found. Oh and by the way you are pretty amazing xxx
No you are xx
With practice comes ease. x
Love this xx
Thoughts are stories your brain comes up with. It does it all the time. It’s up to us to look at the thought and decide ‘is that story useful or not’. If it’s not then dismiss it. It is just a story. That’s what I am trying to do today anyway!!
What a wonderful way to describe it. Thanks for sharing xx
I needed to read this at the moment – thanks xx
be kind to yourself xx
This… “Would you say this to a friend?” We are always kinder to others than we are ourselves. It’s bizarre and ridiculous.
Today, YOU are my sunshine and that piece of advice will help keep my heart bright too.
Keep shining, amazing Bianca xx
Thanks sweetheart – you are a ray of sunshine x
I love this post – what a fine rule. It’s so easy to get sucked into the negative. I know I do though – frequently. Life’s too fleeting to get bogged in crap though. Thanks for the reminder, Bianca!
We are our only sunshine.
And I have resisted the Kale urge. I suspected they were not all that and a bag of chips.
Cause nothing compares to a bag of chips.