“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine
You make me happy
When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away

The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
And I held
My head
And cried.”

For many people it’s hard for them to grab hold of their joy. It’s fleeting. As soon as they think they’ve found the secret to happiness, it flees again. It’s a constant battle to snatch back pieces of their heart which sadness steals from them.

I am constantly saying to my girls: “Find your joy”. I’m not sure where it came from, but when they are grumpy, unkind or just plain miserable, I look them in the eye and remind them to search for it. Dig deep into the depths of your soul and find it. Find your joy. It’s yours, no-one else can take that away from you. We are our only sunshine.

I often have to remind myself to do the same thing. I easily get caught up in a downward spiral. Negativity plagues me and then I eat all of the things which makes me feel worse about myself. I tell myself things I’d never tell a friend. Actually, I’d never even tell a stranger many of things I tell myself. I was chatting with a friend online last night, a resilient woman with much grit. She said: “We are so tough on ourselves aren’t we?”. It struck a nerve with me. Why are we? Why am I?

Today, I’ve got a new rule. I suppose it’s like the classic saying – if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So, that’s my deal to myself. Before I internalise a thought and put it into my head to swirl around, plaguing me, I have to ask myself: “Would you say this to a friend?”. If the answer is no, then I don’t say it. Instead, replace it with either silence – go for a walk, make a cup of tea, chat on Facebook or do something fun with the kids. Or even better, switch the thought around and put a positive slant on it.

Today my head is a lot quieter than normal. I haven’t quite got the ‘switch it to a positive thought every time’ part worked out just yet, so I’m staying mainly silent. It will come. It takes time to change your head space.

Have you told yourself you are amazing today? Try it.

bigwords x

Ps: I made kale chips yesterday. They are completely overrated.