This is the beginning of my sixth week of healthier living. I am plodding along. I’ve set myself a couple of weight loss targets to keep me going, but they are so far in the future it’s clouding my vision.
This week I surpassed my first goal. I dipped under 90 kilos for the first time in about six months. I did a little yes dance. You know when you pump your fist in the air?! Now I have my sights set on under 85 kilos. I just have to keep reminding myself that five weeks will zoom by, even though each moment feels like forever away. I am 20 kilos away from my goal weight.
I must not wish my days away. They are precious.
Bit-by-bit I’ll slowly creep downwards. Each moment I make a healthy choice rather than shove as much schnitzel and cheesecake into my mouth as possible, is a moment closer to better health. I feel like a turtle – slow and steady wins the race.
I started this because my doctor had instructed me to go and get a heap of tests down – cholesterol, blood sugars etc. My blood pressure was also high. I got the tests done, but never went back for the results. She went on maternity leave. The whole experience scared me and now I’m working hard to get healthier before I head back to the doctor. I want to present with a better attitude and with better physical health. I want to be in a good head space and know I can tackle anything. Each week I get a little stronger. I can do this.
Life is fleeting. I don’t want to fuck it up by not being good to me. I have three amazing children. Three girls who need a solid, healthy, vibrant mother – a woman they can look at and know she tried her hardest. I’m doing this for myself first and for them second. They need to know that whatever happens along the way, you must love yourself.
I have months of weight loss to go, then I have a lifetime of making the right choices. But remember no matter how amazingly strong you are, sometimes the best option is to surrender – whether that be to cake or gin. Last night, I drank a couple of red wines and ate chips for dinner. Everything in moderation*.
*And then I had another glass of red, another bowl of chips and a Magnum ice cream. I have no moderation. Shit.