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I can’t believe I forgot to write my Wobbly post last week. I’m also quite impressed I made it to week 46 before I did that. I am not very good at sustaining long term goals, as you can tell seeing that I am now at exactly the same weight as when I started this journey 47 weeks ago. I lost 10 kilos and put 10 kilos straight back on and now I’m starting the cycle all over from the beginning. I am now one kilo down… AGAIN. Yet, I’m in a better place, I have stopped drinking caffeine, roller-skate regularly, go on bike rides, walk more and have even started taking tiny steps towards learning to run. I’d like to be able to run 5kms. That’s my aim for the next 12 months. Now, I’ve written it down, I’ll have to stick to it.

This week has been one of clearing out the clutter. I find that I get a little overwhelmed when my world gets out of control. My clothes were falling out of my wardrobe, I’d just stuff them in there. No folding, they were just crammed in. This, of course, is when I could be bothered actually putting them away at all. Shoes would tumble out every time I opened the door and papers had piled up on my desk. The busier the days have gotten, the less inclined I’ve been to tidy the hidden messes. The more mess, the more cluttered my brain becomes and thus I feel like the responsibilities of being a grown up start closing in on me. Something had to be done.

This week I took the first steps to organising my personal spaces in a bid to also make my head clearer. I have a heap of work to finish off before the end of the year and much Xmas preparation and still one more week of school to guide the kids through. Days are filled with “to-do” chores. I’m longing to be sitting in my fold out chair out the front of Audrey the caravan, guzzling a Coppers Pale Ale, my unruly hair tucked under my baseball cap and my feet resting in the grass.

So, I tackled the task of decluttering head-on, while Twiggy was away on Kangaroo Island photographing a beautiful wedding. Three days wrangling tired kids was going to be tricky enough so I thought I might as well pull out the contents of my kids and my wardrobes and reorganise everything. Three garbage bags full of clothes to donate to charity later and I started to breath with a newfound lightness. I just have my bedside table and my jeweller drawers to go and I’ll be sorted. Then I’ll start on the other rooms with a vengeance. I want to start 2015 with a house clear of clutter, all my commissioned stories completed and a clear head to face the year with a renewed spring in my step. I want to enjoy January – have a break.

This week I will write and write and write. I will clean out those pesky drawers full of random things and hopefully find my missing pair of Ray Bans. I’m determined to start the year the way I want to finish it, under control, motivated and calm.

Every day matters. Don’t waste it contemplating what you could be doing, just do it.

As we head towards the end of 2014, crawling on our hands and knees, grasping at some time to relax and breath, I just have to remind myself that every moment I am here working towards something is a gift. My worries or exhaustion or niggling doubts are nothing compared to others who are really doing it tough. Compassion, understanding and gratitude is vital. And action. Get your world under control, set goals, work hard and make connections. And then take the time out to recharge your soul. Every little step doing the mundane shit it a step closer towards  regeneration.

Not long to go.

How are you going? Are you overwhelmed or have you got things under control?

Bianca