So this week In a fit of frustration over my complete lack of willpower, resolve and determination, I posted a pic of my gut on Instagram and started a new hashtag – #gutbusta – that to this moment only I have used. I am a trailblazer. A lone trailblazer. Just me and my wobbly belly hanging out for the world to see. I am diving to whole new depths of fat shaming to try and motivate myself. I am now fat shaming myself! Go me.
Anyway, the few times that I actually stuck to the healthy regime, I posted images on Instagram with the hashtag – #gutbusta.
I chose not to Instagram the image of the Quarter Pounder nor the chips and gravy nor the wine, but hey I did go on a 20 minute jog/walk and I also walked into town one day. I ate my fair share of salads, but to be honest I sucked at sticking to my #gutbusta plan.
There’s always this week. Or next week. Or the week after.
Meanwhile, Twiggy’s been getting up every morning to run/walk and I’m very proud of him. We are both works in progress.
Here’s to another wobbly week of stagnation. Here’s to my first week of solo #gutbusta photo sharing. Perhaps you’ll join me with some of your own images of healthy choices you’ve made? You know, sort of like an inspirational, motivational exercise. Or time waster. Or simply to try and shame yourself into doing something. You see shame is what got me here in the first place, perhaps shame will also get me out this! I can only hope!
Hooray! Go us and go #gutbusta
Bianca x
Ps: I’m bigwordsblog on Instagram.
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
I don’t know if this is going to be a useful comment or not, but I hope it is.
I’m doing some gut busting. Quietly and in secret. Like you, my doctor saw my blood pressure and went “HMMMMM” and I decided I didn’t want my doctor to make those kinds of noises. I don’t care about being a fatty, but I do care about having chest pains at 31. I went back to my doctor and asked her to make some “starting point” notes and told her I would be back in a month to see if I was less terrible at life.
Salads are rubbish. I would never manage on salads. We’re eating lots of lean meat and veges, fish, brown rice and other grains. Millions of avocados. Some yoghurt. My sister is a bit of a health nut, so she sends me recipes and I cook them and the people in my house eat them or they don’t eat at all.
I don’t want to fat shame myself and I also don’t want to fat shame you. Because I fundamentally fucking love eating bad food, and being fat has always seemed like a reasonable trade-off for that. I’d rather eat a chocolate eclair than wear a slinky romper.
But having a heart attack isn’t. So I have health shamed myself instead.
I stopped drinking caffeine. It helped straight away. and a little bit of deep breathing/relaxation. Walking is good too. I just can’t seem to make myself do it. Fuck I’m such an asshole to myself! Having a heart attack is not alright. I’m with you. Let’s health shame each other xxx
Er, all of which is to say that if you need a buddy or a person who won’t make it into a big deal, I’m here terrorising the neighbourhood with my arse in yoga pants. But don’t set yourself up to fail. You can do it.
You need encouragement, not shame.
Fatty out.
I have been told that hot yoga will change me life. Big call, but willing to give it a go. Do you have to get special pants?!
Fatty out to you my gorgeous friend x
Getting special pants can’t hurt, right? And they make your butt look pretty great. I’m just letting myself do small amounts, after so much sedentariness. If I do five minutes of cardio, that’s way more than zero.
I have to stop being an asshole to myself too. I’m doing this in conjunction with a new type of therapy with my psychologist, for this exact reason. We need to feel good about the small changes we make if we’re ever going to be able to stick at them. Otherwise it’s just a very long walk down a very dark tunnel.
xxxx
I’m gut busting with you Bianca – and like you I am finding it hard going. I have a 2 year old daughter that I struggle to keep up with and I know that’s not ok – I want to be fitter and healthier for her but if I’m being honest, if it was just me I think I’d just like to eat chocolate and hang out with a book! I’m trying to get the hang of this whole exercise thing though… Good luck for your week ahead – let’s see how we go.
Hi B, I hope you don’t mind my many comments but as an outside observer of your 37 Wobbly Weeks I can’t help but feel that the battle isn’t with your mouth and what you put in it but with your mind. My perception is that you’re at war with yourself for whatever reasons and it expresses itself in your waistline. I recently came across two lovely psychologists who are developing a weight loss course using mindfulness. I didn’t really know much about mindfulness until my mum did a mindfulness course a few years ago to help manage her migraines and it completely turned her life around. I’m not sure how effective fat shaming would be for anyone, if it was me it would give me more reason to beat myself up and make the problem worse. Apologies if this sounds a bit ‘corny’ or ‘preachy’, but I’m guessing that you wouldn’t treat someone else the way you are treating yourself and that could be all the difference. Take care x
Yes, I believe you may be right. Laziness and fondness for food also play a big role. xx