wobbly tips 4

This whole weight loss, clean living, healthy lifestyle malarky fucks with your mind. It really is a day-by-day process and your own worst enemy is yourself. I’m getting better at telling my internal voice to shush and just get on with it, but sometimes it wins. I’m learning to avoid doing silly things which puts me at risk of failure. You need to keep ahead of the game and by game I mean junk food and self sabotage.

Here’s 10 simple traps to watch out for:

1 – Do not bring junk food into the house at any cost. And if you do, only buy things you yourself do not like. I learned the stupid way by encouraging my husband to purchase cheese and onion chips. I ate most of the packet in one sitting at 10.30am. I felt sick afterwards.

2- Do not try on jeans or bathers at stores which have multiple mirrors. Nothing good can come of it.

3 – Never, I repeat never, walk your kids to school on an empty stomach, past the local French patisserie. You will stand out the front staring at the chocolate croissants for the longest time. If no-one’s been an ass to you, you’ll probably keep walking. If someone has, then you’ll probably keep walking because stuff them. But if you just feel like a darn pastry, you will eat one.

4 – Only buy wine by the glass because who can ever stop at one bottle of wine. And do not bring cask wine into the house, because you will attempt the Goon Olympics. You will go for gold. This brings me to number 5.

5 – McDonald’s is a sometimes food.

6 – When exercising always wear a bra. If you don’t, there’s a significant possibility you’ll knock yourself out with your boobs. Then you’ll be put off exercise. And we all know fast moving is hard enough as it is, let alone with bruising from rogue, free at last, breasts.

7 – If there is chocolate, fresh white bread or ice cream in your house, you will eat it. Simple fact.

8 – Licking the bowl, when baking a cake, does count. Even if you don’t eat the cake. Oh, who am I kidding? Who doesn’t eat cake?!

9 – If your brain keeps telling you to give up, ignore it. What does your brain know anyway?

10 – Everything in moderation. This counts for self loathing. Get over the woe is me and move on. Life is for living and life without treats is just plain silly.  Just don’t eat the entire buffet table.

Got any tips for young players?

bigwords x