“Let’s play vets,” says Miss 5.
“OK, you can be the vet,” says Miss 4.
“No, I don’t want to be the vet, she can be the vet,” says Miss 5, pointing at Miss 2.
Miss 2 slams two toy puppies heads in to the ground and giggles.
“I don’t want her to be the vet,” screams Miss 4. “I want you to be the vet.”
“I don’t want to be vet,” screams Miss 5. “I want you to be the vet.”
“No, you,” screams Miss 4, pushing Miss 5 against the fridge.
“Stop pushing me,” Miss 5 cries. “Mum, Dad, she’s pushing me.”
“No, I want you to be the vet,” cries Miss 4.
“STOP PUSHING ME,” Miss 5 cries, as she’s put in a headlock and pushed into the fridge.
“NO, I WANT YOU TO BE VET,” screams Miss 4.
“For fucks sake,” I murmur under my breathe, to Twiggy. “Make it stop.”
He gets up pulls them apart. I go and get a massive dog toy, place it on Miss 5’s bed and declare “Puppy Vet” open.
They play quietly. For about 5 seconds.
Do you miss your quiet Saturday mornings?
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
Take heart, one day they learn how to put the TV on and make their own breakfast and leave you alone until midday.
Then they get even older and you end up getting out of bed before they do.
Just don’t encourage them into weekend sports that mean getting out of bed in the cold and dark every Saturday. Because that is a special kind of hell for parents the world over.
Make. it. stop. Please. x