This post was originally published on Kidspot. I thought you’d all like to see it too. I wrote it to my eldest girl who turns eight on Valentine’s Day.
To my Valentine’s girl,
Eight years ago on Valentine’s Day you came into our world. Our “flower girl”, your dad and I named you Lily, after the flowers I held on our wedding day.
I remember your dad crying the moment he saw you. I could hear him sniffling and see his tears of joy. At that moment he looked into your eyes he was forever changed. You changed him for the better, a hard task seeing that he was already perfect to me. You made him a dad – a role he was predetermined to embrace as all good men do. He grew stronger with the birth of each of his girls. Strength of character and the will to guide your children through life with love and humility is important. And from the instant you were born he embraced that as his destiny. You, and your sisters, are so very lucky to have him as your dad.
While your dad relished in his new role immediately, it took me some time. I think I was in shock. I knew at that moment I first held you that I was responsible for you now, that I was no longer my own person – I was your person. I could not quite believe I grew something so perfect. I was scared at first to love you with the ferocity it demanded. I was numb.
Those first moments you foraged in my chest and reached out to hold my hand I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of it all and was worried I wouldn’t be able to live up to the demands of the job, that being a mum required. To be honest, I didn’t even know how to change a nappy, how was I going to guide you through life and protect you from harm? Remember, when you first become a mum it’s ok to be a little shell shocked, nervous or afraid. It’s a big deal. Take all the time you need to settle into it. Your body just grew a human, it’s performed a miracle. It’s ok to feel tired and full of trepidation. It will be ok – as I was ok with you.
After spending time together in the recovery room, they took you from me so I could catch my breath. C-sections are so quick – one minute you are childless, the next you are holding your baby. That time in the recovery room, alone, gave me time to soak in the enormity of it all. I was now Lily’s mum. My husband was your dad. We were parents. We were forever changed for the better because we have you in our life. Those moments without you were an eternity, I ached for you.
When I finally reunited with you all in the hospital room I searched you out and sat and stared at you for a long time. Everything about you is amazing. It always will be. Each moment I gazed at you, I felt stronger. Each touch of you, I felt less nervous, for you are mine and I am yours. I sobbed with pure joy, for I am always in debt to you. Your dad and I would catch each other lost in your delicate face or your tiny fingers. We both knew at those moments what it meant to unconditionally love another person.
Next to my bed was the most beautiful bunch of lilies waiting for me. A hand written card from your dad telling me how proud he was of me, how much he loved me and how lucky we were to have you – our Lily. Valentine’s Day was now your day. What better gift of love to each other than sharing the day of love with our beautiful daughter celebrating her birthday.
It’s a tradition now for me to get lilies on Valentines Day. To think we all share this day of love with you, one of our greatest loves. How lucky we all are. For you are the most beautiful Lily in the entire world.
Happy 8th Birthday Valentine’s baby – our flower girl.
Love your Mum x