I was reading my favourite columnist today. Her name is Samantha Brick. I don’t know if that’s her real name, I’m pretty sure it’s code for – thick as a brick, but in all honesty I think she’s just rad. Her satirical piece on how other women loathe her for being too beautiful, was a worldwide hit and she’s followed it up with this selection of words, lightly woven together, which tackles obesity and why women must always be thin. Hooray. Finally someone had the guts to say it out loud. You can read all the lightweight details here – SORRY EXCUSE FOR WRITING.
I love that she spends days in her office pretending to be a writer.
And here she is out and about. Well, apparently it’s her, but I think not, BECAUSE THERE ARE CARBS IN HER BASKET. Women do not eat bread.
Anyway, I’ve decided that she really is a genius and I am going to start putting words in rows like her in the hope of gaining notoriety for my stupidity.
So, from today I am going to only eat air and drink unicorn mist. I will attach mirrors to all the walls of my house to remind myself that I must always look beautiful. I will make those mirrors of the magnifying variety to enlarge my flaws and my arse, so I always strive to be thinner and save harder for surgery to correct the inconsistencies in my facial features.
Then I will book my hemispherectomy appointment. Job done.
Thanks Samantha – you are a modern day miracle.
I’m off pot to get some polo mints – great idea for lunch!
Wow. That was spectacular.
The thing that shocks me the most is that she actually has friends who’d willingly go to her home!
I adore this. Thank you for being you.
OMG, i think she was on 60 minutes or some crappy show once with her pig of a french husband. She doesn’t work – slaves over her kitchen every day to make him a 4 course lunch meal. What a twit.
Ha! That’s two great posts in two days about Brick! Today’s mission is to find out more…
Is this some kind of study she is conducting, or a Borat style satire trying to see how much of a rise she can get? I clicked over before reading the rest of your post and thought she was kidding, but there was no twist to make the point! Who the f@&$ is this woman?
I couldn’t help but google her. She is absolutely deluded!
She obviously has some major self esteem issues or is a massive attention whore and is happy to take that attention any way she can get it!
Why are we wasting time looking at the rubbish she writes- it’s deliberately inflammatory to create controversy and make people notice her, because it’s obvious she is unable to gain attention doing anything valuable for society.
Sorry to jack your blog comments but she made me sooooo ranty I can’t think straight… I could write another thousand words! *takes deliberate deep breaths*
TL:DR- Samantha Brick is a waste of space and a poor example of what it means to be a successful woman!
PS: love the way you’ve kept your head and written a fabulous smack down.
I am proud to say I haven’t read a word of her latest article and I don’t plan to. I’ve never been fond of unicorn mist either. But I definitely adore your work and could read your words all day…xo