Sometimes my head is clear and my thoughts neatly line up. I know what I want to achieve and everything is methodical. However, most days my brain is whirling, disconnected thoughts rush to the surface and disappear again just as quickly. Sometimes, I feel unsettled by my lack of focus, other days I embrace it.
Recently, I had one of those days my thoughts darted all over the place like kids in a play cafe. Here are just some of the things I said, some of them to myself, some of them to others.
– I think my undies are two sizes too small for me.
– Why is there a butterfly sticker on my foot?
– I need to find a cure for nut allergies.
– I want wine.
– Your child and my child reckon they are going to get married. I think we should encourage them to elope so it doesn’t cost us too much.
– Are the microphone’s on? I’m paranoid of saying something bitchy and everyone hearing it on the radio.
– Three pieces of Fritz, thanks.
– Stop hitting your sisters.
– No, you can’t have something to eat.
– I just don’t understand how the government thinks it’s ok for kids to live in detention centres?
– Why the fuck am I watching this Danoz Direct show?
– Are people really that stupid? They need to learn how to drive properly. Assholes.
– Go and find your Dad and tell him you have poo.
– I grew you, that’s why you’ll do as I say.
– I think I might get some more ink on my wrist.
– Should I go for a walk or sit here and watch a show on my computer? I think I’ll just sit here.
– While you’re down there…
– Can you pick up some milk and bread?
– Perhaps I’ll buy a new pillow for the couch or maybe a throw. Mmmmm…decision, decisions.
– Wouldn’t it be great if we won the lottery.
– Maybe we could move somewhere else if Tony Abbott wins the election?
– Why are there so many wankers in the world?
– Do you reckon you could live in a caravan?
– I love you.
– I think Schnitzel, mash and peas is my most favourite meal ever.
– That’s it, I’m counting to five.
– Are you serious? I’m reading my book in bed. How is this sexy to you?
– So, can I go to bed now?
– Great, now I can’t sleep. Maybe I’ll check Twitter?
This goes on and on and on.
What are some of the things you think during the day?
Why do I vague out so much?
Is this snot or play dough in my hair?
Why has Mr 4 got dog poo on his neck again?
Did I turn of the straighteners?
Wow how many hot flushes in one day?
Hilarious. I am pretty sure I’ve said all of those things!!
I am so using this one:
I grew you, that’s why you’ll do as I say.
You are welcome to it x
I am so using this!!!
Get your shoes on, Get your shoes on, Get your shoes on.
I am not your slave.
Who is pooing with the door open AGAIN
I am not your slave – how could I forget that gem?!
Under my breath * for fucks sake*
Can you hold the baby I need to wee.
I think so many things you do. Weird.
I say for fucks sake out loud way too often. I applaud you for saying it under breath!
I dont want to go to work today. Aaah I am a normal person again.