These are some of the things I do which make me me. It’s a short list, but I could go on all day.
* I eat all the chocolate off the outside of a Mars Bar and then the nougat, leaving me with a gooey caramel mess. I also eat all the crust off my toast first. Same goes for a plate of food, I eat it in order of what I like least to most.
* I can’t go to sleep without first making sure all my pillows on the couch are neatly placed and my kettle is facing in the right direction. It’s not a condition, I just like things in their right place. I feel calmer that way.
* I can not leave pimples un-popped. Just can’t do it.
* I always have a full toilet roll holder – four rolls fit neatly, anything less is lacking. And don’t get me started on which way the toilet roll should hang. This is the correct way.
* Every morning I ask one of my children to pull my finger and then I fart. Every morning.
* I always start the year with a vow to remove my makeup before bed and it always lasts one day. On a similar vein, I don’t leave the house without putting mascara on (sometimes it is applied over the top of the previous day’s mascara).
* I cry every time I hear Alicia Key’s song If I Ain’t Got You, even if I am standing in the supermarket aisle buying groceries. Can’t stop myself. And I always sing along in my best Axl Rose voice to every Guns N’ Roses song wherever I am. My whistling along to Patience is pretty darn amazing. I’m not afraid to say it’s top notch. In fact, I live for their songs to come on, but nothing from Chinese Democracy – that album was crap and it’s not Guns N’ Roses without Slash.
* Pepperoni pizza is always my first topping choice and so too is pepper sauce on a schnitzel, but never with capsicum because that is wrong. And when it comes to Gelato – coffee and lemon all the way baby.
* I can not swim in any water without thinking a shark will eat me, even pools. I blame Jaws, James Bond and a recurring dream I have where I have to swim lengths of a dark, shark infested pool. I get all freaked out and have to do that weird scurrying swim to the shallow end. It’s embarrassing for everyone around me, but not me. In my head it’s survival.
* I would always pick a Kingston over a Tim Tam. Always.
* And I would rather watch a Tony Abbott press conference than sit through a cricket match. And that’s saying something.
What are some of the things you do?
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
I laughed with the Mars Bar as I do the same thing except I eat the nougat last. Mmmmmm.
I also leave my favourite food until last on the plate, and I’m also really narky when it comes to the toilet paper!
I cry in the weirdest movies. Like The Dark Knight Rises and Transformers 2. And Beaches, but that’s pretty standard I think.
If I’m high above water I freak out, but if I’m high above concrete I’m fine. Can’t explain that one at all.
If I’ve just poured myself a big glass of cold Coke, I can not be spoken to until I get my hit. I have held my hand up to stop people from talking so I can enjoy (yes that’s terrible, but I don’t care).
Every afternoon when I come home from work, my cat Missy sits on the stairs and will not move until I’ve given her a kiss. Seriously.
I eat pizza from the middle out – so if I can’t finish the whole thing I haven’t wasted any room on crusts.
I’m the same with sharks in pools! But only if I’m alone… if there’s anyone else there I feel perfectly safe.
I can’t sleep with the cupboard doors open.
I’m frightened of statues that look like humans. Especially really big ones. Statues of animals are fine.
I’m the same with pimples. I’d rather have a weeping, bleeding hole in my face than a pimple.
I have an irrational phobia about jelly. Can not stand it. Looking at it makes me shudder. … Even thinking about it is making me feel ill….
* I used to do your mars bar thing with Cherry Ripes but got paid out on so badly by my family that I stopped. In fact they still bring it up on a semi-regular basis along the lines of “Do you remember when Rachel used to do that weird thing with Cherry Ripes?”.
* I’m fine with any insect – cockroaches, spiders, grasshoppers are all cool with me. But the sight of a cane toad can reduce me a gibbering wreck, and I do a funny little run to get away from them where my butt tries to go faster than the rest of me.
* I live with my 3 little boys, a fiance and a visiting stepson in a house with one bathroom, so any expectations I may have had about maintaining order in that area of the house have been long beaten out of me by reality.
However I am the dishwasher nazi from hell. Hell yes, there is a proper way stack it… MY WAY (sometimes said in a scary Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland voice I have to admit… don’t judge)
Every cupboard and wardrobe door must be closed before bed. There are sharks in the sea at all times, right next to us, waiting – just like there are piranhas in the river. I have kept Easter Eggs from one year to the next, solely just to see if I could, I would buy and eat other chocolate, but I SAVED those eggs. Kx
We are so alike, down to the Mars bar eating. Although I am still working on public farting. I also would choose pepper sauce and Kingston’s. You have fantastic taste.
Yep, that’s the only way a toilet roll should be. End of story.