Here’s the thing. There’s these three little people who depend on me. They have the sweetest giggles. The softest skin. Their eyes reflect the sun like glitter.
They think a perfect day is jumping on the trampoline, eating sprinkle donuts, dancing to hip hop music in the lounge room and being taken to bed on their Dad’s shoulders. Life is one big treat.
The responsibility is at times overwhelming; like nothing else I’ve ever encountered. I’ve stood out the front of buildings where thousands of people have been told they’re out of work. I’ve interviewed some of the nation’s richest people, walked through the corridors of London’s Parliament with all its pom and ceremony.
I’ve struggled as two men tried to strangle me in Barcelona, running away with my cash and passport. I’ve faced a life without the knowledge of who my father is and watched my Mum struggle with that, while, with immense love, grace and much skill, raised me alone.
I thought I was prepared to be a mother.
But being a Mum is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and at times it drives me crazy. Motherhood actually makes me feel certifiable at times.
There are times I feel like I am riding the waves of motherhood, standing on my board reaching for the sun. There are times I feel like I am being dragged under the surf, tumbling and fighting for my life.
In my special “The Mother’s Day Post” I wish all the Mums out there a Happy Mother’s Day. Here’s to us all keeping our heads above water and when we feel we’re drowning knowing we can reach out and someone will pull us to safety.
Happy Mother’s Day to my Mum. Without you choosing me from the universe, I wouldn’t be here to raise my three amazing girls. You are truly an amazing woman and mother. I love you.
You know I watch my children while they are sleeping; sometimes in their clean sheets, sometimes in the sheets I’ve had to sweep the crumbs from and I will them be ok. I will them to survive my style of parenting. And I wonder how many Mums out there feel the same?
love bigwords xx
Just beautiful.It is precious that you appreciate being a mum as much as you do.Your children can only benefit from that.Have a wonderful day. xx
Happy Mother’s Day. Your girls are truly lucky to have you! xoxo
I adore the way you say the things I am thinking, such a beautiful post, your gorgeous children will not only survive your parenting style but thrive with you as their mum! Xx
We all feel overwhelmed at times, but I think being a Mum is my highest achievement in life. It has bought me more pleasure than anything else (sure a lot of pain too, not just childbirth either) but I look at my now grown children with pride and know I am the person that got them there (with hubby’s help of course). Your Mum sounds like a wonderful woman, who raised a wonderful daughter, who is passing it on to her own beautiful children.
Hardest yet most amazing job I have ever had. Lately what I need most are instantaneous lessons on compassion and empathy. Unfortunately I am being tested yet again before I have had time to develop the skills I need.
…”dragged under the surf, tumbling and fighting for my life”. Been there metaphorically and in reality. I only hope we can keep finding the surface and the coastline, with sufficient energy to make it back to the sand. Recovering from the PTSD of losing her dad to cancer just prior to entering the turmoil of a stressful year 12 course she looks to me for assistance. When it is really tough, I look for whatever I have left and try to hand it over while privately wondering if I have anything left and when I will be replenished. After so long and so much neediness around me, acknowledgement of my needs is too overwhelming to contemplate because there is noone left who hasn’t already given all they can. So, a bit of self-talk “suck-it-up Princess” and I go on. Fragility increasing each test. Or is this vulnerability? I hope it is the latter. Perhaps this is just what being a parent is. Perhaps it is just being a sole parent, without a supportive extended family. It is tough – yet also wonderful only an hour or so later. Last night she did come with me to watch Johnny Depp be a silly vampire and I did get to have breakfast in bed with raspberries and banana crepes cooked by her. So I have been replenished. Hopefully it is enough for the next big melt-down.
My learning from this conversation – take what is provided, store it up and be ready to give all you can when they need it. I suspect your mum found her reserves while she watched you struggle through your adolescence. I wish that for you too. Obviously you have great resilience when you need it. During my own personal meltdowns I reassure myself I have pulled myself up before so I must know how…
This is such an awesome post- I love it. Sometimes I feel like the only one being dragged under while everyone else rides on top. It’s reassuring to know someone else feels the same way I do.
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