I had a moment of shame on the weekend. Actually, I had two.
Everyone has them – those bad parent moments. The moments you think to yourself, well, that was a bit shit, perhaps that wasn’t the best way to handle the situation.
At the time my girls deserved what they got. I am sticking to that story, except in my gut I know I’m wrong. Oh yeah, and my husband said I was wrong. And although I wouldn’t let him know, I think he was right this time. Not that I would tell him that. Never admit defeat ladies.
Exhibit 1.
My two eldest girls, let me call them “the mean girls”, were drawing pictures of rainbows and stuff. I say stuff because honestly I have no idea what the other objects were. I just nod a lot and say: “That looks fantastic honey”. I say that to my husband a lot too.
Anyway, each came to me with their drawings seeking out my praise, before exclaiming to the other how Mum said theirs was “the best”.
Then, I heard a squeal and many tears. Mean Girl 1 had taken the liberty of drawing on Mean Girl 2’s picture.
I am not sure what came over me, but I immediately jumped from my chair, grabbed a pen and scribbled all over Mean Girl 1’s picture, in retribution. “See, that doesn’t feel good does it?”.
Result: Two girls crying. Strangely, I felt quite good about it.
Exhibit 2.
The Mean Girls had made up and were pretending to be twins. Satanic twins. They spent the morning telling their younger sister, who I will name Cinderella, that she wasn’t allowed to play with them. They were being foul.
The longer it continued, the grumpier I got. So, I grabbed Cinderella, dressed her in her finest tracksuit and whisked her to the mall. There she went on a ride and we had a milkshake. I then took her to the park and pushed her on the swings. All the while, I took photos and sent them to my husband so he would let the Mean Girls know just what a fabulous time we were having.
Result: Although, glowing, Cinderalla lost a shoe at the park. The Mean Girls didn’t give a shit. And I had to go to the park and push a child on the swings, which means I lost that round.
Seriously, what’s wrong with me. I am behaving like a child. I have scooped to their level. I must stop and regain my sense of right and wrong.
I need to get out more.
Have you had a parenting fail lately?
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
I am on your side because you have two more kids than I and you have to do with fighting.
I ignored M the other day when she was crying on a playdate. I thought it was fake crying. She had actually hurt herself. Mother of the year.
everyday sweetie, that is why I am saving up for Crazy’s counselling already ; )
I totally get where you are coming from.My girl is being a rude selfish mood swinging 18 year old so and so and I find it very hard at times not to be the same back…just to show her.I know that sounds so childish but I get to a place where I just dont know what to do anymore.
I know I have been too soft and kindness and sweet words have done me no good.
I think us mums need to give ourselves a break from the guilt sometimes and realise we are only human and there is only so much we can take at a time before we crack.
When we have a not so good parenting moment we need to just forgive ourselves and know that most of the time we are doing a great job,the best we can in a very difficult role.
Big hugs of support.xx
Last week after battling with my son over his homework, he stormed out of the room. In a level headed and totally calm way I screamed that he was grounded. When he yelled WHY? I replied for being a dickhead.
I did apologise.
Some days get the better of us. We are human. Kids get over it before we do. If necessary we say sorry and move forward. It’s all we can do.
xxx
I have two mean girls. A big one (10) and a little one (3). The little one spends her days screaming hysterically at the big one to get her in trouble. The big one in turn acts like a pathetic victimised two year old and doesn’t do the simple thing which is “walk away” because she wants to be all smug and bitchy by getting her little sister into trouble.
The big one “controls” the little on when they play. She also does a number of obvious bullying things that take my breath away because she knows exactly how it feels to have them done to her. The little one in turn doesn’t let the big one blink without screaming “no don’t blink I don’t want you to blink i HAAATE YOOOOUUU!”
I drink gin. And spend a lot of my time mutely separating them while trying not to scream. Occasionally I have a total tantrum at both of them including stamping feet and tear streaked face.
Most of the time though, I give them back their behaviour but in a controlled way. If the big girl wants to do something with me I tell her that I would love to but I don’t like the way she treats other people, namely her sister. I don’t want to play cards with a girl who cheats and bullies. I tell the little one I do not want to play dollies with her because she has been mean to everyone and made them cry. Hopefully one day they will think about it, but in the meantime they are spending a lot of time in their rooms sulking.
haha this is fantastic! Some times I wish i could do this to fellow adults!
Too funny, I’m glad I’m not the only mum who is not perfect! I have a 3yo & 20 month old, both boys, who I occasionally call poo heads when I’m annoyed with them. I realized I have to stop doing this now as the 3yo turned around the other day and said ‘I’m not a poo head mama. You’re a poohead’ Right – I think he understands what I’m saying now and I better stop it! They are both so totally gorgeous, but gee, don’t you wish they’d just let you change their nappy without it being a massive drama? It happens at least 5 times a day, you’d think they’d be used to it by now!! And chucking food everywhere, don’t get me started…