I was going to title this post – I Scratched Mrs Woog’s Back While Chatting In Bed and Eating Pancakes and Other Surreal Moments – but it was a little long. Instead, I opted for a much catchier one about Bold and the Beautiful star Ronn Moss.

You see, on a recent visit to Mrs Woog’s home in Sydney, we’d been discussing the soap star’s dedication to the craft of staring longingly without blinking.┬áHe really is a man of many faces. Well, that’s not entirely correct, his face hasn’t changed at all over time, in fact it rarely moves. I suppose you could say he is a man of one eerily unchanging face, it’s more the places that change.

Anyway, I was showing Mrs Woog my happy snaps of when I “dated” him and thought you, the reader, might like to share in my trip down memory lane.

We first met at a rock concert, our smokey eyes met across the crowded room.

It was fabulous, so we went on another date. We went walking. He takes safety very seriously.

It wasn’t until our third date, dinner at his house, that we consummated our love for each other.

He was amazing…

… and a little kinky.

I was a little put off the next morning when I found him like this in the kitchen, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. Always trust your gut ladies. Listen to the warning bells, I wish I did. I mean, juggling. Really?

Life carried on joyously. We had so much fun. He had a little too much I suspect.

He wooed me with his music.

And then one day he proposed. It was, in a word, magical. In three words, a little creepy.

Despite my reservations, I went ahead with the wedding. Strangely, there were no photos of me.

But then fame got to his head, he wasn’t the man I thought he was.

It was the “Wet Issue” which tipped me over the edge.

He let himself go after the divorce…

…but has since rediscovered a new style, a new scarf and a new lease on life. We remain “friends”to this day. I wish him all the best.

Do you have an imaginary past?

bigwords x