Our family has been going through a rough patch. The behaviour of one of our girls has deteriorated. Public outings have been limited, celebrations torn apart, home time has been a battleground. It has truly been one of the hardest moments for all of us. Since the beginning of the year things have been tense. The past three months almost unbearable. We’ve been held at ransom somewhat. I recently wrote about us resorting to tough love, by taking away something precious to her. It didn’t work. Her behaviour has escalated to a point my husband and I knew we were out of our depths. We’d gone beyond breaking point.
There’s been many discussions into the night. Google’s been getting a hammering. Tears, oh how, there’s been tears – for everyone.
Then last weekend I did something big for me – I reached out on Twitter for help. Within seconds, I was inundated with the same response – contact Easy Peasy Kids.
That afternoon I was talking to my friend, the gorgeous Nathalie. I broke down on the phone to her and she reached out to me like no other. Suddenly our family was not alone. Suddenly our family was not suffering in silence. Our fears dispelled somewhat and behaviours explained as “normal” and within our reach to modify. What we were doing was not working. We were coming at it all wrong. We had to give it our best, try out all we knew, before asking for advice. I am so glad we recognised that it was time to seek professional advice. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful we are for her support.
I’ve since talked to her again and now have a list of activities. Positive parenting at its best. High praise. Calm and considered.
– you are reading this and you are at your wit’s end,
– you are beginning to resent your child/children for their behaviour,
– you feel like you are an awful parent,
– you’ve stopped doing things as a family or socialising with others out of nervousness of public meltdowns,
– you are anxious, agitated, angry and sad,
then talk to someone about it. There are solutions.
I’m not sure what will transpire over the coming weeks, but I do know that the past week has already provided us with much insight. I’m getting to know my girl again and she’s one amazing kid (not that I ever doubted that). She’s been hurting, we’ve been hurting and it’s time to put a stop to it.
Some small changes have already been such a gift. We went on a little holiday together and this time it wasn’t full of screaming, we were gifted with big stretches of joy instead. We’ve spent happy times together as a family.
The importance of talking can never be underestimated.
Reach out. Talk. You are not alone.