symptoms_head1It’s never been something I’d considered before, hypnotherapy that is, but I was offered a free session with a life coach to discuss my ongoing weight issues. Kylie Ryan is a mind coach and weight loss motivation expert, she reached out to me after reading about my inability to stick to a healthy eating regime. That was months ago.

As I continued to shovel food into my mouth, like a child on school holidays, and readjusted my blinkers so I would only see what I thought I should look like in the mirror, not the reality of my near size 18 self – her email of assistance sat there in my inbox. I would read it every week, telling myself to respond to her questionnaire. I wouldn’t. I was deep in self sabotage mode. I wasn’t ready to face my truth. Then one day I sat quietly in my room and wrote my responses. The questions were obviously designed to give her a sense of my personality type; what scares me, what drives me, my past, my future goals and what I perceived were my obstacles to being a better me. They terrified me. There’s something confronting about being honest to yourself.

I sent the form back to her and then promptly made myself unavailable for the follow-up consultation. All in all the entire process dragged over months. In that time I put on about four more kilos.

Then the day arrived for us to chat. Through the genius of Skype we sat staring at each other while we talked about me. I know I write a lot about myself in this blog, but there’s much I can’t discuss because it involves other people. I have to self edit a lot. But this time I didn’t have to do that. I don’t see a therapist, but I assume the time spent talking with Kylie was much like what it feels to talk one-on-one with somebody who has no connections to the people in your life. It was amazing.

Part of the session was a hypnotherapy component. It was at this moment that it would have been beneficial to be sitting in a quiet room with her, with no distractions, but instead I sat in my bedroom while the rest of my household went about their business. It was a little distracting. However, a moment in the session – when I visualised me, as I am now, holding my newborn self, comforting and reassuring myself that I will be ok, that I was worthy of happiness and success – was pivotal. I am choosing to use that vision as the one I draw on when I need extra strength.

The session I had with her was close to a month ago. It was a significant moment for me. I haven’t been ready to embrace it fully until now. I needed time to truly digest it all.

Changing the way you live is a big deal. Shifting your mindset is not an easy task. The time has to be right. I will stumble and fall. I will have nights I eat entire packets of Toobs and drink a bottle of wine. There will be weeks I feel useless and alone. But there will be stretches of clarity and self awakening.

I’ll share this journey with you. I’d love it if you could share yours with me too. I’ll even pop some of your stories up here on bigwords if you’re ok with that.

Step by step we can work towards a goal together. Yours might be about weight or health or self acceptance or drinking less or kindness or being brave or overcoming obstacles to success. It really is all entwined.

Sometimes it’s easier to walk this path with friends. Care to join me?

bigwords x


*Kylie Ryan, My Mind Coach, gifted bigwords one free session. It was amazing.