It’s never been something I’d considered before, hypnotherapy that is, but I was offered a free session with a life coach to discuss my ongoing weight issues. Kylie Ryan is a mind coach and weight loss motivation expert, she reached out to me after reading about my inability to stick to a healthy eating regime. That was months ago.
As I continued to shovel food into my mouth, like a child on school holidays, and readjusted my blinkers so I would only see what I thought I should look like in the mirror, not the reality of my near size 18 self – her email of assistance sat there in my inbox. I would read it every week, telling myself to respond to her questionnaire. I wouldn’t. I was deep in self sabotage mode. I wasn’t ready to face my truth. Then one day I sat quietly in my room and wrote my responses. The questions were obviously designed to give her a sense of my personality type; what scares me, what drives me, my past, my future goals and what I perceived were my obstacles to being a better me. They terrified me. There’s something confronting about being honest to yourself.
I sent the form back to her and then promptly made myself unavailable for the follow-up consultation. All in all the entire process dragged over months. In that time I put on about four more kilos.
Then the day arrived for us to chat. Through the genius of Skype we sat staring at each other while we talked about me. I know I write a lot about myself in this blog, but there’s much I can’t discuss because it involves other people. I have to self edit a lot. But this time I didn’t have to do that. I don’t see a therapist, but I assume the time spent talking with Kylie was much like what it feels to talk one-on-one with somebody who has no connections to the people in your life. It was amazing.
Part of the session was a hypnotherapy component. It was at this moment that it would have been beneficial to be sitting in a quiet room with her, with no distractions, but instead I sat in my bedroom while the rest of my household went about their business. It was a little distracting. However, a moment in the session – when I visualised me, as I am now, holding my newborn self, comforting and reassuring myself that I will be ok, that I was worthy of happiness and success – was pivotal. I am choosing to use that vision as the one I draw on when I need extra strength.
The session I had with her was close to a month ago. It was a significant moment for me. I haven’t been ready to embrace it fully until now. I needed time to truly digest it all.
Changing the way you live is a big deal. Shifting your mindset is not an easy task. The time has to be right. I will stumble and fall. I will have nights I eat entire packets of Toobs and drink a bottle of wine. There will be weeks I feel useless and alone. But there will be stretches of clarity and self awakening.
I’ll share this journey with you. I’d love it if you could share yours with me too. I’ll even pop some of your stories up here on bigwords if you’re ok with that.
Step by step we can work towards a goal together. Yours might be about weight or health or self acceptance or drinking less or kindness or being brave or overcoming obstacles to success. It really is all entwined.
Sometimes it’s easier to walk this path with friends. Care to join me?
bigwords x
*Kylie Ryan, My Mind Coach, gifted bigwords one free session. It was amazing.
I did an interview with a blogger last year about the role of reaching out for counselling because thats what I am (amongst other things) and it was interesting to read peoples comments. Whenever anyone makes a first appointment with me I explain that if we don’t click then sometimes its best to find someone else as the building of rapport – alongside all the tools we have – is the essence of what talking to someone outside your circle is about. I check in with a counsellor every few months on skype – it makes me calm, helps me see things clearer and clears away the cobwebs. I hope I do that for others too.
Glad the session was a success. Shifting mindset takes focus but it can be done x
I think the idea of talking to someone every month to clear the cobwebs (whether that is gently lifting a few aside or blower vacuuming them) is a fab idea. xx
Oh hell this post is resonating in a sad and brutal way with me. I am in a deep pit of self loathing and despair right now and stuck in a cycle of self sabotage and denial. I can’t even fathom how I am going to start unpacking the mess of emotional mire in my brain, thank you for reaching out, I will be right here with you.
Hey Super Sarah, It might help to check out some of the articles on my blog to help you begin then you’re ready.
And lovely Bianca, thank you for your wonderfully inspiring review of our session. I’m so glad it was useful. It is absolutely so helpful to walk the path with friends. Best wishes on your journey. Kylie x
You are wonderful woman with a big spirit. thanks x
Oh Sarah, Please talk to someone if you feel you’re ready or need to. I’ve decided to make little changes every day/week and month. Book some me time for yourself – walk, listen to music, take a bath, have a coffee. Catch up with someone you love. Talk. I’m here too x
It always amazes me how the universe presents just what’s needed at exactly the right time. Funny that. With it being the universe ‘n all eh?
Bianca, I’ll be right here with you. I’d love that. I’m in the same place, it seems. After months, no, years, of fits and starts and interruptions and half arsed attempts, I’ve started today. Getting my shit together. For me. I’m not sure I can articulate it all properly just yet, which is why I will be scribbling furiously in my notebook over the next few weeks as I work it all out.
Thank you for sharing. It’s such a brave thing to do. I’m not quite as ready as you to share on my blog just yet … but I suspect you might just be my inspo.
Hugsss … jx
Excellent post. I found it inspiring.
This is so sweet and amazing and poignant. Thank you.
you are awesome & brave & wonderful.
i started a similar journey nearly a year ago.
you are so so right about the time needing to be right.
i wrote a little about my starting point here ~ http://gourmetgirl-friend.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/taking-back-me.html
I’ve been here reading but not commenting (ie blog stalking you) for months and months. I always mean to comment but I get lazy after I have read and enjoyed your words. I look forward to hearing about your journey.
I was moved by this post Bianca, especially the part about holding your newborn self. I think we all know the logic of self-sabotage and self-loathing -it is so much harder to overcome it. I have visualised comforting myself as a child and it has become easier to do this since I have had my own children. I think when we do this, it is easier to accept ourselves and realise we are the same, beautiful creature inside that we were when we were born.
I am facing my own issues at the moment and dealing with the detrimental effects anxiety has had on my life. It s a challenge, but I need to do it. I am blogging about it too (although it is embarrassing). My weight is also on a long list of things to ‘fix’ and I will get there.
I know you can do it and I am glad the session seems to have helped. It is a process for all of us I guess.