I remember it well. I had searched for ages for the perfect outfit. I only had $30, a mixture of money I’d saved and money I’d taken from my Mum’s often empty purse. I was going to our school disco. It was 1988. I was in Year 10.
I settled for a yellow top from Cherry Lane. Yellow fluoro, of course. I did something strange to my hair too, but not as ridiculous as a mate of mine who got bored plating her hair so had one half straight and the other half frizzy. We really thought we were quite cool.
On the way to school we smoked cigarettes, because that’s what you did when you were cool like us. We also drank wine from paper bags. We hid behind trees when cars went past, in case we got caught by a teacher or parent. The journey was more fun than the destination in those days.
Most of the night we danced. We had all the moves. We had our bags in a pile at our feet and we danced around them. We also giggled. And flicked our hair. Girls at that age giggled and flicked their hair a lot. The stoned ones giggled even more. And when we weren’t giggling and dancing, we were singing, particularly when such lyrics as: “You give me head (suck), you give me head” and “Am I ever gonna see your face again? (No, way get fucked fuck off)” blared through the tinny speakers. This was then followed by even more giggling and hair flicking.
Then as the night progressed things got serious. People started pashing. Some people started pashing other people’s boyfriends. There were scrag fights. There were girls huddled in corners gossiping.
Some people pashed someone they didn’t want to pash and spent the rest of the night trying to escape them. If they were lucky (or easy) they pashed more than one person.
I remember I pashed someone I’d wanted to pash for forever (which is about a week in teenage time).
I remember being terrified. I was a late bloomer compared to some of my friends. I hadn’t done much, if any pashing. I definitely hadn’t kissed someone so cool in such a public place, with friends looking on. Nor had I kissed someone with the urgency of having to get it over with very fast, in case a teacher caught us and shone a torch in a face.
I remember leaning my face close to his. My heart was thumping out of my chest. My hands were a little sweaty. I remember thinking I had no idea what I was meant to be doing. The reality of kissing my pillow and hand was nothing when actual lips were pressed against mine and someone’s tongue was darting around all over the place. There was nothing great about it. I just wanted it over with. I was mortified. I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t escape fast enough.
I did not want to do any more kissing. I made my excuses. I went back to the dance floor. I tried to push the recurring thoughts of teeth clashing, my jaw clicking and his hands around my back pushing ย me closer to him. I was grossed out. I knew I hadn’t done it right and decided right then I wouldn’t be pashing anyone else for awhile.
Tonight, my eldest girl is going to her first school disco. There will be no pashing. I know that for a fact. But she is excited and nervous. She has picked out her outfit and tells me to shush when I ask her who else will be going.
She is still a little girl who can go to her disco free of sexual tension and insecurities which will factor majorly in her older years. I know this because firstly, she is only 5 years old, and secondly, she was quite thrilled when I jokingly told her I was going to be performing a hip hop dance act for all of her friends. What a difference a few years will make.
Having girls makes me relive growing up.ย Having girls terrifies me.
Do you remember your first proper pash?
bigwords x
there are a lot of things that I remember doing, all those things make me thankful that I have boys.
Tehehe! I was in year 10 in 1986, and this post reminds me of my Friday nights once a month at the Blue Light Disco, complete with my fluoro socks, matching belt and ‘choose life’ T-shirt! I can’t remember my first pash, but I’m sure it was some time that year… And a few years later I became a mum… you could say I was fast learner!
I’m glad I have boys, and I’m also relieved to make it past 40 before being called Grandma! ๐
Tehehe! I was in year 10 in 1986, and this post reminds me of my Friday nights once a month at the Blue Light Disco, complete with my fluoro socks, matching belt and ‘choose life’ T-shirt! I can’t remember my first pash, but I’m sure it was some time that year… And a few years later I became a mum… you could say I was fast learner!
I’m glad I have boys, and I’m also relieved to make it past 40 before being called Grandma! ๐
LOLOLOL ain’t that the truth! ๐
My girl is 18 and these last few years have been terrifying everytime she walked out the door.
If only I could forget my teenage years I wouldnt be so concerned!
Now with the Puberty Blues tv series coming on I will have to refrain from saying things in front of my daughter like “oh I remember when I did that/that happened to me” etc etc
Cant let my secrets out after all the ‘talks’ we have had ๐
Hope your girl has a wonderful time at her beautiful tension free disco.Xx
OMG, just reading this post made me feel the anxiety of have contact with boys at that age. I went to an all girls’ school so was hopeless with boys! My first pash was a horrible experience. A friend and I were hanging out in Hyde Park in Sydney one night during the school holidays when the Easter Show had been on at the showgrounds when we met some boys doing the same. I was also in year 10 (1990) and was desperate to not be ‘sweet 16 and never been kissed’. These boys were from the suburbs. His name was John. My friend went off with another guy. She was a year younger than me but knew what she was doing and it wasn’t her first time. This John bloke tried to go in for the pash and I was mortified. I told him I hadn’t kissed anyone before and that I was very nervous. He told me that everything would be ok. But yuck! His tongue totally grossed me out! It was so fat and insistent. Just gross. Yuck. What a memory, haven’t thought about it in years! I hope your five year old has a ball at her disco. V.
Love the re-tell, felt like I was there lol
I do remember my first pash and it was terrible! It was at school swimming carnival and it was the result of half of our class telling us we had to kiss if we were “going out”. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. It was dreadful, and so embarrassing. There were so many kids standing around us, just watching!
Being a boy I had my obligatory heavy metal phase at the end of the 80’s. The usual route took me there: Dire Straits -> Def Leppard -> Guns n Roses -> Megadeth/Metallica ->downhill from there, so no school discos for me.
Which is odd really, as I started the 80’s listening (as a 5 year old) to a lot of new folk revival stuff ๐
No school discos for me, although I do remember getting kiss chassed by Hannah Driscoll in 3rd year juniors when I was nine or ten. It was reasonably pleasant but I also remember taking the massive piss out of ten year old who were “playing grown ups” by having “boyfriends or girlfriends”. Me, I was happy playing with my Action Force and reading my Famous 5 books.