Soon about 150 of the nation’s most influential parenting and personal bloggers will meet in Sydney for the first annual Aussie Bloggers Conference. It’s true to say a majority of the attendees are women. They are multi-taskers. Many are balancing children, careers, housework, technology and regularly blogging. They are largely vivacious, strong-willed and intelligent. They are forging ahead in this expanding sector, creating networks throughout the world and filling a gap in a rapidly expanding, “information-fuelled” marketplace. They are fluent in readership numbers, pr speak, blog promotion and networking. Yet, the biggest question on everyone’s lips is what are you going to wear? Posts are furiously being written by women all over the country about their insecurities. Everything from wobbly thighs, chewed nails, frizzy hair and shyness all feature highly. There’s an underlying fear of meeting people for the first time in real life and not living up to expectations, of somehow tainting their “cyber-brand”. People are worried they will stand out for all the wrong reasons. Worried about being the fashion faux pas in the crowd. Worried about lifting the veil on their physical self.
If this was a group of men meeting for the inaugural Aussie Bloggers Conference they would not be discussing outfits. Maybe there would be a bit of bravado about beer and extracurricular social activities, but mostly discussions would centre on the agenda. There’d be discussions about ways to further legitimise the blogging sector. Talk of advertising revenue, key traffic targets, tips on how to transform blogs into successful money-making or opportunity-creating vehicles. There wouldn’t be anxiety over beer bellies or premature balding. They wouldn’t give a shit if someone liked what they were wearing, only if the person they were meeting was a good bloke. They would be going to the conference with a goal in mind; to improve their blog, strengthen networks, grow reader numbers and attract more advertising. Getting pissed, making friends and having a laugh would be a given, not the focus.
I don’t want to say that all men are only worried about the bottom-line and all women are only worried about the size of their bottoms. This is a generalisation, but it’s not too far off the mark. I also don’t want to say that worries about how you look or what you wear aren’t legitimate. I’m just as nervous as the other attendees. I am as nervous as hell people will scoff at my mangy fingernails and my inability to lose my baby weight. I have put ridiculous pressure on myself to lose 10 kilos, only to jump on the scales a couple of weeks out, to see I might need to increase my carry-on luggage limit to cover my weight gain. I am yet to go on a frenzied shopping trip to try and pick out an outfit for the night, but I soon will, anxiousness stamped all over my face as I rush from shop-to-shop. I know too well the crippling fear of walking into a room full of people, scared those you consider your friends may look you up-and-down and turn the other way. But, here’s the deal – if they did that to me, or anyone else, I would not want to get to know them. It would be hypocritical of us, who write so honestly about our failings, to judge others on their dresses or shoes. This is not to say I don’t have a “verging on unhealthy” love of handbags and sunglasses. I just hope we start to focus on why we are meeting in the first place.
So promise me this, fellow bloggers out there shaking in your ankle boots, that you will stop worrying about clothes. Take a few minutes to think about the conference agenda and what you want to get out of this experience. We need to get serious about what this conference is meant to achieve and what we can all do to make it better for next year. Those people who are blogging with a view to making money out of it, need to put some time and energy into outlining what targets they have for their blog. Those blogging for a creative outlet, a book deal, a psychological outlet, whatever the reason, need to work out what it is they want to get out of the weekend. There’s a group of hard working women who have put this conference together and I’m sure they’re already thinking about next year’s event and would welcome our input.
We can all play a role in strengthening blogging in the Australian marketplace. We can all play a role in putting safeguards in place to protect those fellow bloggers who are entering the corporate world. It’s time to get serious. Advertising rates reflective of audience numbers and targeted marketing objectives need to be set and standardised. For the writers out there, established and those trying to break into the arena, it’s time we set writing rates for outsourced blog posts. It’s time we pay writers for their craft in this burgeoning arena. It’s an industry in the making and we have a chance to set some frameworks in place for the future. By supporting, educating, inspiring and protecting bloggers we will help grow the blogging community. This is what this conference could help facilitate for future years. This is how we could ensure the event continues to be a success for years to come.
Amongst the excitement of silk and fishnets, it’s time to get serious. We want a conference which is both looks and substance. Now excuse me, I’m off to buy a dress. I have a conference to go to.
Great post Bianca. Hear, hear.
Well said, Bianca! x
Thank you for writing this. It hadn’t occured to me to worry about what I was going to wear until I started to see all the tweets flying and now I think I should be worrying because I can almost guarantee you that I will be wearing my post-preggo clothes and looking like the dowdiest girl in the room. But, I’M GOING TO THE CONFERENCE! I’m excited about networking and learning not my clothes…let’s hope it stays that way x
Every word a winner Bianca.
For those of use not attending but staying at home typing in our pjs or jeans, we will be waiting and watching to see what comes out of this year’s event with great anticipation.
Felicity
Wish I was going. Truly. And not just because I fancy buying myself a new dress. 😉
This is an outstanding post! I totally agree – and I’m a jeans person anyway.
It really is a thrill, to be part of waking Australia up to the power of social media and all we can collectively achieve.
Insanely jealous that I wont be there, not to just meet and see everyone but more importantly learn from what others have to share. You hit the nail on the head, it’s a “conference” treat it like a conference…..get really drunk and lose your knickers in the elevator…..oh, okay, so maybe that was just me??
You, you vivacious, strong-willed and intelligent Mummy, writer, frock shopper, blogger. Legend. xxx
4 days away by my lonesome. Can I do it? Yes, yes I think I can. Great post B, can’t wait to meet you x
This is a great post. I think the whole online things – as in “we’ve never met but many of us know eachother quite well” adds an dimension to this particular conference. Kind of like an online dating service – we want the real life versions of ourselves to live up to the online version.
To be honest I hadn’t given a thought to my clothes yet. I am too busy stressing that I have been a slack little blogger of late. My blog is currently the online version of “let herself go”. To the point where it almost feels like a sham to be going along to a conference. But then I figure – hey – that’s why I’m going – to learn.
And to have a few drinks and laughs. But that is generally my criteria for attending most things. 🙂
lol, so I have not even thought about what I will wear!
But this was an awesome post. I am very much looking forward to the conference and meeting everyone.
Excellent post! Thank you! Will tweet this now!
Loved LOVED this post – you are so very right! I cannot wait to meet my fave bloggers and get to learn a bit – and have a hundred wines in the evening and dance on a table xo
As I’m speaking at the conference, I’m thinking a lot about what others might want to hear from me and what I want to get out of the other sessions. Absolutely. But you know what? Clothes are a great distraction and completely distract me from feeling nervous and giving myself a migraine over the entire thing.
A thoughtful post, Bianca. Good for you. It really is time to get serious – we women mean business ☺. As a non-attendee, like Felicity, I’m really looking forward to your insights on it all. Have a brilliant time. J x
So true, all of it. But it is in my nature to obsess neurotically about what to wear. It’s part of who I am. Always has been. But I agree, we have a serious side to deal with too… and I can’t wait to meet people and have a drink or two, and be inspired by people like you. Great post.
All the stressing about appearance is really bugging me when I come across it. Sure it’s nice to plan comfortable, presentable clothes and to even like the chance to frock up a bit but the angst about it is, as you say, a distraction. I was just going along because I love talking about blogging. I didn’t realise it was a high pressure networking and promotion event. I really hope everyone gets there and just relaxes into having a good time discussing what we all love to do. Blogging.
*Weeeeee* I’m pee in my pants excited!
Bloody brilliant, Bianca. I’ve written myself a goal list and managed to achieve it four weeks before the conference… I gotta write a new one.
Unlike everyone else, I can’t say that I agree. While I respect and admire your passionate interest in forging forward into this new frontier and wanting to focus on the substantive rather than the (apparently) superficial I baulk at the idea that to be ‘serious’ I have to behave like a man would.
My writing is built on the back of being really honest about all my insecurities and it’s not any different when it comes to me in real life. It is a big deal to me to go to a conference not in my beautiful shoes but in boring old flats because I’ll be 39 weeks pregnant at the time. And just like I spend hours designing and re-designing my website so it reflects what I want it to say I also am fond of spending a whole lot of time expressing myself through clothes, shoes and handbags. I don’t think that detracts from who I am or what I have to say, I think it’s just a part of it.
I will be wearing what I wear every day, including odd stripey socks lol. I am looking forward to the conference very much. I love to share knowledge and that is my main aim at the conference. sharing what I know about blogging in order to help as many other bloggers as I can 🙂
Like Zoe, for me, clothes are a big part of expressing who I am. My irl friends consider me stylish and I NEED that armour to feel good about making a good impresion on people I genuinely admire. The armour is part of me too. It’s not like I will be judging others in the slightest but I totally need to feel “put together” so that I come across the way I want to. In all honesty though I am petrified cos there are so many people I admire that I want to get to know in person and I have no idea how I will achieve that. I am the smile and warm up to people slowly type and having been the organizer of many a conference I know this is very difficult to do. I love your post Bianca, your brilliant, again! Xxx
I will be dancing there with you – or around our handbags on the floor.
Bianca, as you know I flew to Sydney to have my hair blow dried today – and to have lunch with Mrs Woog and St Murphy – all in the name of blogging. I’m so excited about this new frontier and yes, I’m all ears on March 19. Great post and cannot wait to meet you – and check out your frock 😉
see i’m not sure that it has to be one or the other. Sure I hope I look ok on the day. I’ll do my usual hair and make up routine, but my point is that all the angst about ‘will people like me if I’m not dressed right’ is really, really irritating for some people. If I thought for a minute that my attendance at the conference was going to be marred by what I’m wearing, well I think my head would explode. I want to be happy and confident and a small part of that will come from knowing I’ve chosen an outfit that makes me feel ok.
We can be serious about blogging and enjoy trying to look and feel our best. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
But feeling we are judged because we haven’t met some unspoken guideline is just not helpful for anyone. It’s a stereotypical, pretty sad way to be.
But going along to feel like we have something to contribute other than angst about our outfits is good.
Doesn’t mean you can’t hope to be wearing something nice on the day.
Agreed – not mutually exclusive at all. But I also think that the problem is that people might assume that because someone is a tetch clothes or shoes obsessed that they will be judging others through that filter. Not the case! I will be spending a great deal of time pondering my shoe options but am so excited to be going to the conference and meeting all of these wonderful people and frankly couldn’t care less if everyone was dressed in a heshen bag. The shoe/clothes thing is about me, it’s not about anyone else.
In fact, I think that far too often it’s assumed that my choices are some kind of a judgement on other people’s but that’s a whole other tangent!
But I guess what I’m trying to say (excuse my meandering comment – head cold!) is that as much as people (very rightly) would hate to be judged for what they are wearing or not wearing on the day, I would hate to be judged because clothes are an important form of self expression to me.
I hope you don’t think this post was in any way casting judgement on people’s choices to search for the perfect outfit or care about what they look like on the outside. I am a lover of fashion, am stressing about my shopping adventure for my conference clothes and have been very involved in twitter discussions about them. I just wanted to shine a spotlight on the other conference issues as well. Put a bit of balance into the discussions. I for one can’t wait to meet everyone and am getting very excited. I might even do a little drunken dancing on the floor for everyone’s entertainment or I might just hang quietly in the corner near the bar. See you soon x
me too!! I might even need to get a new handbag!! xx
Not at all! I just think it’s easy to have things turn into a one vs the other situation rather than as you say a balance. A balance is a great thing. Was just trying to say (in relation to the lively discussion rather than your post) that one approach isn’t morally superior to another
I’d be tempted to make a splash and wear something pretty out there like maybe the Lady Gaga kermit dress. You’d get a lot of people photographing you – and it looks pretty warm in case it gets nippy. http://www.waleg.com/celebrities/archives/017291.html
Isn’t it amazing how we grown, intelligent women are fretting over this? I’m not so worried about my outfit (as I’ll only be there for the day) but the thought of going into a room where I know no one is rather paralyzing. Thank God so many of us feel that way so hopefully it will be easier to connect xx
I never worry about my appearance until everyone else starts to mention theirs (or that they’re freaking out or excited to dress up) and then I think, well damn, now I have to make an effort! And then I smack myself and say ‘Silly, you’re not going to try and impress via your clothes because that’s not how you’ve ever done it.” If I was someone who already expressed myself through what I wore, I could understand I would be ensuring my outfit was first and foremost in my planning. But because it’s not, and because I see around the community the effort others are going to be going to, I feel pressure to do the same. However! I probably won’t do any more than I would normally do, at the end of the day, because I tend to stick pretty true to who I am, regardless of the external pressures about appearance.
Very interesting, and interesting comments too. We have a blogging conference coming up in the UK in June and already I see people talking about what they’re going to wear! (But of course I’m already mentally planning an outfit too!). I’m honestly not sure if this is a good or bad thing, though, as I like having the freedom to express myself through clothes, but at the same time I think it’s unpleasant that women judge each other on so many difficult criteria. Getting the clothes right is yet another thing we’re supposed to be good at??
What you’ve said about priorities really made me think – what I want to get out of blogging has really changed since I started and learned what the blogging community is all about, and I think it would do me good to really think my goals and priorities through before the conference in June.
Wetsuit?
LCM x
good post. However I think men should worry more about how they look. Have you poked your head in the door at a mostly male conference? omg. seriously though. We are, as you said, multi taskers so I think we can do both serious agenda thinking and shoe shopping – I know I can. I’m less nervous about my outfit and more nervous about leaving my kids for the night for the first time ever.
I decided today not to wear a dress because everything I tried on made me look like the fat chick at the prom, so, pants it is! Looking forward to meeting you! unless you are wearing something ugly. lol. seriously kidding. I agree with the bit you said about hypocrisy and judging.
I never worry about my appearance until everyone else starts to mention theirs (or that they’re freaking out or excited to dress up) and then I think, well damn, now I have to make an effort! And then I smack myself and say ‘Silly, you’re not going to try and impress via your clothes because that’s not how you’ve ever done it.” If I was someone who already expressed myself through what I wore, I could understand I would be ensuring my outfit was first and foremost in my planning. But because it’s not, and because I see around the community the effort others are going to be going to, I feel pressure to do the same. However! I probably won’t do any more than I would normally do, at the end of the day, because I tend to stick pretty true to who I am, regardless of the external pressures about appearance.