Every day families are embroiled in custody battles. Sometimes they involve families now living in different countries or different states. They all involve children spending time in different homes. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for everyone involved.
All these case have their own particulars. All these cases are unique to each family, as every family is unique in itself. There are many sides to each story. It’s impossible, unless of course there is proven abuse or neglect involved, to know who is in the right. How can you tell a child they can no longer see, or live, with one of their parents? It is an extremely sensitive issue. An issue which needs to be dealt with by professionals, in private, with much support and definitely with their children’s best interests at the heart of each decision.
At what stage do people become so desperate, so bitter, so distressed that they put the immediate needs of their children behind their own egos? At what stage do you get the media involved? At what stage do you let your children be subjected to such heightened drama, beyond what they are already experiencing?
The custody battle being played out in the media like a reality television show is a disgrace. Those children should not have been put in that position, by either of their parents. The media should not be allowed to report on such issues. Fine their faces have been blurred, but not their school uniforms, which made it clear where these children went to school. And now the media, camped out the front of their father’s Italian home, have alerted everyone to which tiny town he resides. Stop it.
What next? A telephone voting system to let the Australian public decide who should win custody of the kids? For the father phone: 222Italia. For the mother phone: 222Aussie.
Or perhaps we could let the parents hold a live debate on television or put them on Q&A?
I have no interest in the particulars of this case. It is not my business. It is no-one’s business except the families involved. What I am most disturbed by is the fact I’ve been dragged into their personal lives. I have seen images of children being dragged into cars, of a mother wailing uncontrollably at an airport, of a father being forced to prise his child’s hands of a fence away from waiting media, of the knowledge those children flew internationally without either their mother of father by their side. Enough.
These children have been subjected to too much. Their parents have failed them by letting this turn into a media circus. The media have failed them by reporting on an issue which is not in the interests of the general public to know about. It is time everyone leave this family alone to sort out this matter without the additional distress. Back off people. Back off.
What are your thoughts on this very private, yet now very public, issue?
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
Agree completely. It’s very sad.
Could not agree with you more! Its a disgrace! none of us know the details and nor should we. I feel like a hypocrit just commenting here and giving this more ‘air’ but surely we as a society should have more morals than to allow this to be played out in such a manner.
There are no winners here.
Totally with you on that Bianca! This topic came up over dinner with friends on Friday night and we all agreed this private family matter has become a media circus. It is appalling. I don’t know much of the particulars, nor have I sought to because it is none of my business and I plan to keep it that way!
There are legal avenues that I’m sure the parents will continue to peruse. I don’t need to be kept up to date with them though, and neither does anyone else who is not directly involved. Sensationalism at its worst right there x
Well said, Bianca. Those poor children will be so traumatised by this whole custody debacle. I am horrified at the way in which this has been played out in the media. The full extent of the emotional price those kids have paid may not be known for years. The whole situation makes me feel very sad.
A wise person once said that divorcing parents need to love their children more than they hate each other. But I can’t help but think in this case if it was the Italian father who had taken his daughters from Australia to Italy, we would be baying for his blood. Even though it is none of our business – the media makes it so
The youngest two went to my son’s primary school – which my 7YO son pointed out when a media ran the images of them at the beginning of all this!I don’t believe either parent has put the kids first – the mum for not returning to Italy two years ago – and the dad for now not listening to the wishes of his kids. Under Australian law the older two would be able to choose themselves who they could live with. As someone who has had shared custody of two kids with her ex, I know how difficult all of this is. But my issues with my ex are not my kids’ issues. He’s their father, always will be. It’s been 10 years now – I still don’t like saying goodbye to them but they’ve grown into beautiful young adults partly I’m sure because I didn’t use them as pawns.
Here here!
Agreed – I don’t want to know about it – not public fodder!
Was talking about this the other night. The media should have left it alone. And the parents should have thought of the kids, not of themselves.
OMG…..you have put this in exactly the way I have thought. I have commented on so many people’s views on fb about this, basically saying exactly what you have said. As a Mum of a son whose parents split before he turned two, and has spent the last 11 years being shared between his parents, I am horrified that this is going on. There are things over the past 11 years that I have had to do as a Mum that have killed me, but have been in my son’s best interests. I just don’t get it. I don’t get why or how people can legitimately think they can use their children like an asset. It sickens me.
Very well said! I don’t need – nor do I want – to know the details of this family’s situation as it’s their business and no one else’s. I can’t help but think that there has been a complete lack of respect for the family and those girls, who will be confronted with the comments and imagery of this time throughout their lives. As the child of a difficult divorce, I know from experience that the words said privately within the family and the memories of that difficult time are punishing enough. The media glare and scrutiny is incredibly unfair to those girls who deserve their privacy and childhood. x
It disgusts me. As a step parent I know how hard things can be and the struggles that affect everyone involved. What also disgusts me is that people who aren’t involved have an opinion. You are so right, people need to back of. Great post x