I only watched two minutes of (use deep and wildly romantic voiceover voice) Australia’s first season of The Bachelor. It was crap. I did not expect anything else from it. So, for this reason I am already cringing in anticipation of all the blog posts, tweets, Facebook updates about the objectification of women and HOW IT MUST STOP. No, what must stop is all the predictable pontificating.

It’s not like it’s a surprise. You have seen the other four hundred million Bachelors and Bachelorettes (insert comments about the contestants’ chests and sweet smiles)? Or perhaps if you have been living under a reality tv rock (it’s covered with neatly trimmed moss and has a tan) – you have seen the television ads, right? Please do not turn on this predictably over-acted, manipulatively edited and unoriginal show and expect something that it is not. It is highly formulaic reality television which executives are hoping will boost the network’s sagging bottom line. It is also a little funny.

I’m not going to write about the women’s portrayal, their “dumbing down” and their incessant cat fighting as they claw their way to their five minutes of television fame. Nor am I going to comment on the man’s greasy hair, lack of integrity and the upcoming highlights which show him pashing many different scantily clad, claws out, scary-eyed women. Neither am I going to say anything about how botox makes young, overly tanned, beauty contestant ball gowned wearing, soapy make-uped women look very, very old. And don’t even get me started on the transformation of the host Andrew G, ┬ánow known as Osher – I thought he was a photographer in LA now?

But what I will say is if the show makes you giggle then watch it. If it makes you scream and throw things at your flat screen then turn it off. But please do not waste your energy analysing the sexism at the core of this show. It was a given, your outrage is expected.

Instead get grumpy at the choice of flower used in the show. Seriously, have we not moved on from long-stemmed red roses?


bigwords x