A funny thing happened to me the other day while enjoying a relaxing walk in my local park. These two bras walked past me and started chatting to each other about how perky and fabulous they were: “Wow, you look great, something different? You lost weight?”.
As I listened to the bras chat vivaciously, I found myself tugging at my ill-fitting bra. The straps kept slipping off my shoulder and my breasts were hanging a little low (like they were practically dragging on the ground).
And as fast as you could say: “Did someone put LSD on my porridge this morning because there’s two bras in the park chatting to each other?”- a lightbulb went off *ding*. I thought to myself, maybe I too could look as amazing as the talking bras. If only I knew how? Then two lightbulbs popped into my head *ding ding*. I know, I’ll get plastic surgery just like the boobs that sat perkily inside the lacy talking bras. That’ll make me feel better about myself. All my cares will vanish in a puff of smoke *poof*. Then forever more I will be known as the happy lady with the enormous boobs.
Just like that, I booked myself into my local plastic surgeon and got my puppies fixed. Voila.
OK, that did not happen. What did happen was I was sitting on the couch last night eating fried wonton and watching Big Brother or something equally as crap and then this stupid, stupid advertisement came on. Much as I hate to give it anymore airplay, it’s necessary for international readers who would not have had the pleasure of throwing things at their television when it comes on.
The campaign is backed by more than 100 Australian plastic surgeons who want to get women talking about plastic surgery. They want us to get more of it.
It sure has got me talking about local plastic surgeons and what a bunch of knobs they are. Seriously, talking bras? I’m not really fussed if someone gets their boobs done, each to their own. After having three kids I’d almost consider it myself if it wasn’t so pricey and didn’t hurt so much. I’m too cheap and a big wimp so I prefer to just buy a good bra, not one of these mouthy talking ones, just a mute one with good divide and conquer properties.
I’m more offended by the ridiculousness of bras talking. And I’m also annoyed by the bra’s sing song voices – gag. And then there’s the whole: “Wow, you look great, something different?” as if to imply you looked shit before you got your boobs done.
Advertising companies of the world. Give us a break. Woman are not that stupid. We can see through your talking bra bullshit. Give us some ads that are clever – like we are.
Do your bras talk to you?
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
Pppfffttt! Oh my god. I am glad I switched the telly off last night.
Actually my bra talks to me all the time, it usually is along the lines of “I’ve found that missing m&m/Jatz/piece of Lego you sexy mofo with the massive breasts” ; ) x
I cant even bare to watch the ad is your description of the stupidness of it was good enough! my bras dont talk to me but i talk to them. words such as : why don’t they make maternity bras that actually provide SUPPORT ( finally found one with flexible underwire thank god ) but seriously the rest of them are a friggen joke! But I am all for a well fitted bra.
FFS. That’s just dreadful. Condescending and patronising are the words that spring to MY mind after seeing that. *shakes head* SURELY someone in advertising can come up with something better than that? Anyone? Bueller?
Bwahahaha – if my bra would talk it would say exactly that! With the possible “why do you insist on jamming the little sister’s dummy in here – isn’t it crowded enough?”
my bras tell me “we’re about to die, please let us go, we want you to be happy, buy yourself new ones”. Between pregnancy and breastfeeding, I’ve been using maternity bras for 5 years, my son is almost weaned (1 feed per week), maybe it is time to splurge and buy new ones that aren’t falling apart??
Oh yes, my bras also tell me not to watch tv because the stupidity of 95% of its shows/ads makes my blood boil…
And here I was just wondering why there were birdies flying above the talking bras. Something to do with the ‘airhead’ tone?
Maybe they could run another ad that asks women to abide by the ‘less is more’ approach as well, so that when I see the amount of (inappropriate) flesh on show in public spaces – and not just the young ones, let’s be clear – I don’t feel like I am being viciously assaulted by mammaries from every angle and about to be drowned in a sea of nipples.
Is that too prudish? Am I envious?
No. And quite frankly would rather stick with what I have than risk going for a run and coming back with two black eyes, courtesy of plastic bouncing (over) abundance.
LCM x