It takes me about one minute to take a photo, slap on a filter, add a caption and chose which social media channel to share it on. The same to write a Tweet or update my Facebook status. It takes someone double that to have a go at me for using my phone.
Stop it. Stop judging me.
I do not judge you for not having a grasp of what my job entails or for knowing how Twitter works. I do not judge you for only having a Facebook site to keep a check on your kids or for not getting nor caring what all the fuss is about. I do not judge you for choosing to keep your life private. I do not judge you for the work you do.
So don’t judge me.
Blogging is based purely on sharing and deciding when not to share parts of your life. It’s about connecting with others who also blog or have embraced social media. It’s about having an idea of what’s going on in the news and what’s trending on Twitter. It’s also about cutting into some of your personal time to update your Instagram or Facebook Page. It also involves people’s feelings and when someone has reached out to you because of something you’ve written, you owe it them to give them your attention, even for a moment, and acknowledge them.
Sometimes this cuts into time I’m spending with others. Sometimes it cuts into time spent with family. Sometimes it’s the only way I feel sane or connected to others, because let’s face it, the life of a parent can be very isolating at times. You drop off the radar socially and you spend much of your down time at home watching re-runs of Sex and the City while your children sleep.
By remaining connected to my community and spending time sharing snippets of my world it helps me not only personally, but helps me professionally. This is through networking with others in my industry, putting myself out there for pr and writing opportunities and getting a better sense of who the readers of bigwords are. Like anyone building something from scratch, much of the early stages is working at weird times and largely unpaid. So, for this reason I will get my phone out at strange times and spend time sharing images or replying to comments. I will at times seem “disinterested” in what others would term the “real world”, but that is because they’re unknowledgeable about what it is I, and many others in the blogging community, do. If I was to duck off to take a business call or conduct an interview or reply to an urgent email or sit in on a conference call, no-one would care. This is no different.
Yes, at times I’ve had to stop and reassess my own internet usage and I’ve stepped away from my computer for a few days. And there are increasing times I choose not to share family moments because they are just that, family moments. And I would never pop a photo up of someone else’s children without permission first. I’d never get my phone out at a funeral. Nor would I ever share a photo of a bride’s wedding dress or someone else’s newborn baby. When I go to a concert or event, I’ll take a few quick photos and then put my phone away, because frankly people who film live shows with their phones shit me. And I only occasionally do food shots because chips and gravy aren’t that photogenic. And if a friend asked me not to take photos I never would. I also wouldn’t write about a friend’s life. I’d hate to think people wouldn’t want to hang out with me for fear of becoming fodder for the next blog post.
When my kids play sport or we’re doing an activity, I’m engaged and involved. As too when I’m one-one-one with someone. This doesn’t mean I don’t get my phone out occasionally, because seriously anyone who has watched kids play sport knows it can be painful to watch. And don’t even get me started on that stupid website that shames parents who are on their phones while they kids play at the park. F*ck that shit. Sometimes the park is the only time all day you’ll get a moment to interact with anyone other than your children and you might just need that escape. I’m pretty sure that’s why parks were invented in the first place.
I have boundaries. I also would not judge someone for their career choices. Each to their own.
But I draw the line at feeling guilt or judgement for doing something that I enjoy. For engaging in an industry which makes me feel part of something. For pursuing something which has already afforded my family so many amazing opportunities and at times has helped pay our mortgage.
It’s been said a bazillion times to find something you love and you’ll never feel like you’ve worked a day in your life.
Well I’ve found something that I love and at times what looks like frivolous fun is actually my work. What’s the difference with other jobs is it also happens to be at times frivolous and fun, yet I make a living out of it. Well, I’m getting there anyway. And I fell darn lucky.
bigwords x
Yes! I get the worst looks and comments when I use my phone while at the park with the kids or out walking with the toddler (even if she’s napping in the pusher and not needing anything from me at all). But you know what? My life is my life and the work I do enables me to be with my kids a lot, so if that means that sometimes I’ll take them to the park so that they’re occupied while I look something up or answer a few emails or update Facebook, then that’s no one else’s business. Enough with the judginess.
We are so lucky to be able to shape our work around our children aren’t we Megan. No more judgie mcjudgie xx
Oh god I want chips and gravy so damn bad now
I would eat it for every meal. Every. Meal.
This is an awesome read, i can relate to everything you said. the photo about pinning was hilarious! You are an awesome engaging writer, keep doing what you are doing i always love reading your stuff. Also nice to know that i am not the only one that sometimes feels the “eyes of judgement” from those perfect mums who claim never to answer and email or check their facebook with the kids around, sometime business just can’t wait……… cheers Bel
I’d probably have to pop a photo up on Instagram, Tweet and Facebook before calling 000. JUST KIDDING! Thanks so much for your lovely comment xx
Who are these Judgey McJudgerson’s? Tell them to piss off!Or better still send them to me & I’ll tell them to piss off!
Oh shucks, I like you very much x
Not me! Judge away. I could not care less xx
In about five-ish weeks we will be sharing a bottle of wine. That makes me happy x
What!!?? I may not judge you for using your phone. But I WILL judge you if I don’t get to see you when/if you are coming Sydney???
I definitely identify with this post. I work from home freelancing on the internet (I do a mish mash of social media, freelance writing, newsletter/report writing for companies) plus my work for my own blog. The biggest judgement I get is often from my husband who calls it “mucking around” on the phone or laptop. I can’t get him to understand that I’m actually working and every little thing I am doing (whether it is on Instagram, Twitter, Microsoft Word) is actually me ‘working’. I do think I’m very blessed to be able to work from home and be around my 2 year old toddler. I think it’s just about having a balance and I do think that since it’s my life, it is my responsibility to create a balance and feel right with what I’m doing and not for anyone else to judge! Wonderful post, Bianca!
Thanks so much Mandy. He’ll get it one day. Isn’t cool to be able to shape your job around your needs though?! xx
People judging others for eating chips & gravy, what is the world coming to? I knew the world was in trouble when we started banning carbs. Makes everyone grumpy. Social media envy and judging is getting out of control.
I say no to banning carbs or chips and gravy! xx
“I knew the world was in trouble when we started banning carbs”. Hysterical, thanks for the giggle.
I’ve never noticed anyone judging me…maybe I should look up from my phone more often? 😉
I spend way too much time on my phone – I hate it and am constantly trying to hide it away so I stop myself from checking it. I don’t think that’s a blogging thing though – I have oodles of friends who suffer from the same affliction. I’m afraid I fail at Instagram, and Twitter, but I give Facebook a good nudge. And when I’m not on school hols I try to blog 5 days a week – solely because I advertise and it’s only fair for clients who pay for the exposure.
I’ve been lucky, I haven’t felt judged. Did someone say something to you or are you just feeling that way? I couldn’t pick up from this post if you were answering something that had been said? I love social media, but I still prefer the real world, real friends, real food – if I didn’t have that I’d have nothing to write about! 🙂
I have no idea if people judge me or not as I am way too busy trying to keep up with instagram, twitter, FB and my blog. Then I live in fear in case I have been inappropriate, shared too much or used rubbish grammar as the grammar police will out me for being crap, which is always possible, ho hum xx