Let me start out by saying I’m a Virgo. I’m not sure why that’s important, but most people who encounter my “anal-ness” like to point it out. It’s as if my birth date somehow makes me have the compulsion to be a neat freak. Personally, I don’t believe that because I was born on September 4, I have no control over my overriding need to make sure all my knives and forks are neatly facing in the same direction or that my wooden bowl sits exactly in the middle of the table. It’s just easier to blame my star sign. People seem to be more accepting of my “neurosis” if they can jokingly point the finger at me being a Virgo.
Don’t think that my inability to relax if my surroundings aren’t neat, extends to cleanliness. I am not keen on using the vacuum cleaner and I never get an ironing board out. I just like things to be in their place and I like life to flow exactly as planned. If I am not tidying, I am pre-planning.
Every night I place the kids’ pjs on their respective beds with corresponding nappies. I get their clothes out for the next day (careful to check the weather first) and lay them in the hallway with their shoes neatly placed beside them. Then, I work out what I am going to wear and what the baby will wear. I pack the nappy bag. I fill the kettle and the coffee machine so they both have fresh water for the morning. All the time I am thinking; what are we doing tomorrow, when will we need to start getting ready, how long will it take to get there, are there any other places nearby we could go to while we are out and about? It keeps going, I could pre-plan, organise, anally compartmentalise my life, whatever you want to call it, all day long. Actually, I even wake in the night to plan events that are taking place in a year from now – what flight should I take to the wedding, what will I wear, how will I get from the airport, where will I stay, should I get my hair done? My internal voice does not shut up, ever!
While I was on one of my planing, tidying frenzies the other night, my husband told me to just “chillax”. “No,” I said. Well, actually I said: “Fuck off, you chillax”. Anyway that’s not the point. I gently explained to him that I could only relax when everything was tidy and organised for the next day. It went something like this. “Well, if there wasn’t shit all over the place then I could fucking sit down and chillax,” I said. “If everything is organised in our world, then we won’t waste time stuffing around.”
“Well, if you just stopped fucking planning all the time, you’d have time to do other things,” he replied. Fair point, I thought to myself, but I didn’t want to admit he was right. Instead, I took the attack route, as you do in any good marriage.
“Are you for real?” I said. “This is coming from the man who went to Bunnings to spend his Bunnings’ voucher and when he came home had nothing, because he left his voucher in the car! We need each other. I need you to stop me from being so anally retentive and you need me to help find all the things you’ve lost.”
And with that, he went off to find his keys and I turned the kettle to the left so it faced neatly to the front.
You really are the “Anal fairy” that waves wafts of tidiness through our house. xxx
And you are an anus, love you xxx
Hmm perhaps I need more Virgo tendencies – although when hanging up the washing I do need to use matching pegs. I bought wooden pegs hoping it would be easier but then discovered they came in two sizes – so then the sizes had to match. Then some got more weathered than others which altered their colour and so now I have to match sizes as well as colour. I’m FITH. Also – each quarter of the hills hoist is attributed to each person and clothes hung in groups. Is this an Arian trait or am I ill???
Great blog – and come tidy my shed anytime you like – and plan my week. I can do the vacuuming.
Hilarious Post. I am your polar opposite. I cannot see the point of cleaning constantly when it just keeps getting mucked up again. I will just get cranky and I feel I need to pick my battles at the moment.
Phil however is very anal but has had to adjust his ways living with 3 messy kids, a kitten and a less than neat wife.
Actually I think he’s kind of just given in.
Great post
Brilliant!
Love your work hun. x
Hi,I would love to be that organised, i used to be when our kids were little. Now there all young adults, i’m all over the place, my hubby would love it if i had life that under control.You talk a lot of common sense… Loving your blog by the way…..
I don’t think it matters if you’re a Virgo. But the question remains, are you sure you weren’t me in a former life? Oh, this post is ME! So funny. Even your husband is my husband. Scary stuff. xx
Honestly I am pretty sure you and I are the same person – but seriously, what is it with the middle of the night thing ? Don’t you just wish you could turn that one off!
AND I not only turn the kettle to the left, I go one better and get the windex out and give it a quick wipe to GET RID OF MY FINGER PRINTS…..
We need help.
Oh, I can see we are going to be very good friends. I actually laughed out loud at your last sentence about turning the kettle to the left, as that’s my last job of the night after micro-planning the next day’s movements.
Team work – it’s what makes the world go round. In a clockwise direction. With all the forks facing in the right direction. 🙂
Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.
I’m trying not to be so anally retentive but I think it’s an inextricable part of my DNA. I can’t help it. Bags MUST be packed the night before, lunches made, uniforms out and breakfast laid out. I think I need to talk about this with my therapist again….
Bianca?! What are you doing?! Posting about my life so clearly?! How did you manage to know all that about me?
Same same. Totally same.
Love your work.
xxx
I think I should have married you.
I like you laying everything out the night before. My mum tried to teach me to do this as a kid, but I refused. Now I do it every night, or it wouldn’t get done.
Me and Mr Karen are the same – opposites, but somehow, it just works. 🙂
Back again for the second time. I, unfortunately if anything, am worse. More procrastination, more mess. Oh Mr Hart, what a mess…
Ugh. I often wish that I was more like this! I feel like I’m constantly tidying up etc. but I’m never this organised. Bed calls my name far too loudly at night. My husband is fairly “fussy” – loves everything in his life to be neat & tidy, but unfortunately it doesn’t mean that he will bring himself to do housework. His mum is super anally retentive in everything she does and it drives me insane, entirely because I have created this voice in my mind which is her judging me all the time about my disorganisation. I’m a nutcase, I know!