This is Kate Middleton. She is married to a Prince. She is a Mum. And according to this piece of quality, hard-hitting journalism she is just “one of us” because she hasn’t dyed her grey hairs. The “reporter” believes that because Kate hasn’t had time or has chosen not to dye her hair (for health reasons associated with breastfeeding) that she has revealed to the world just how normal she is. The “reporter” even went as far as to speculate that Kate just “couldn’t be bothered” because she is a new mum. Wow, thanks for that awesome reportage.

I love the way women are portrayed in, or should that read betrayed by, the media. Wouldn’t it be great if the woman who wrote that piece of crap had said: “You know what, that is not worth writing about it. How about I go and find a real news story?”. But here lies two problems. Firstly, when you work for News Ltd the word “no” is not really encouraged. I’ve worked there. I get it. And secondly, stupid stories about celebrities and the royals are what gets hits on the news site. It’s non-stories about hair, clothes, post-baby bodies and the such that sells newspapers, magazines, fills morning news shows and fuels the entertainment industry. People actually give a shit about such rubbish, which brings me to this next “news” story featuring the very boring, yet beautiful Miranda Kerr.

In the story, Miranda “reportedly” said that she “jumps for joy” when she is feeling blue. “If I’m having a challenging moment, I jump for joy. Literally. After a minute, I feel better, and after a few minutes, I’m really happy. Happiness is a choice we make. You can wake up and say, ‘Oh, I can’t believe it’s so cold,’ or you can say, ‘Oh, wow, this is a great opportunity for me to try out my new sweater.'”  Apparently, felling sad is all in your mind. Depressed? Just jump up and down. Anxious? Get jumping. Worried about money troubles or health issues? You know what to do – turn that frown upside down and then jump, jump, jump. No legs to jump with? It’s ok, I’m sure Miranda won’t mind if you wiggle around and throw your arms in the air like you just don’t care. Seriously, I’m not sure if she realises how stupid and offensive some of the words which tumble from her mouth are. But remember, this is coming from the woman who also said: “Maybe I am too traditional, but men feel important when you ask for their help instead of thinking you can do it all on your own”.

At the time of me writing this blog post, that Miranda Kerr article was the third most read story on news.com.au today. This is on the same day it was reported that a young mother, an asylum seeker, was being kept locked up for 18 hours a day while her week-old baby remains in hospital with respiratory problems. She is only allowed to see her baby between set hours. The father’s dad – not at all. I bet she isn’t wondering: “What would Miranda do? I know I’ll jump, then all my worries will disappear. Oh no, I had a c-section so I can’t jump. Bugger.” That story wasn’t even on the home page, let alone in the top 10 most read stories. This is a sad reflection of our society. I am ashamed.

And in lounge rooms and workplaces all over Australia there are people jumping repeatedly over the state of this nation’s media.

I’d jump more if it wasn’t for the bladder leakage.

bigwords x