Hey, Judgy McJudegeface. Yes, I’m talking to you. Who died and appointed you the judge of all of the things?
And before you get all judgemental – yes, I’m also talking to me. I’ve fallen into the deep, dark, rabbit hole of judging others, but you know what? I’ve been trying to change. I’ve been working on it. Unfortunately, this week I’ve been failing, because I’ve started judging people who judge others, which in fact makes me just as bad.
But that aside, I’m going to go all out and say stop judging people. I’m going to judge you for judging. Your judgy ways are out of control and here’s why.
First off, who cares if Jesinta Campbell wears a see-through dress to the Logies. She’s Jesinta Campbell – that’s her job to wear fashion that shocks and delights. If she turned up in a stock standard dress she’d be failing at her role as a fashion identity. And seriously if I had a body like her, I would wear that dress too. I’d wear it everywhere, even to the supermarket and the school run.
Here’s a picture of her. What you can’t hear is her saying “kiss my perky arse haters”.
And that brings me to the other lass with an equally tight set of buns. Yes, Rachel Finch.
This week she did an interview where she mentioned her husband’s mum looks after their 2yo every weekend. And then the internet exploded with judgement.
To be fair, it had just stopped going on about THAT DRESS and needed another person to attack.
First off, why aim the judgement solely on Rachel? Her and her husband both equally spend time caring for their gorgeous daughter during the week. They tag team around their schedules. He is a parent too. People with such “open minds” worried about the state of the world where mothers would “actually want regular time away from their children”, but then fail to recognise that their views of parenting are very outdated, confuse me. Men also parent too, so if you are going sit in judgement – at least judge them both. You know, equal judgment for all.
Secondly, the world of work has never been nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday for everyone. Having your child looked after two days a week by a Grandparent or a paid carer is pretty normal for many people, in fact, some have their kids in care Monday to Friday. In this particular case, I’m going to presume that most of their weekends are not spent wondering around Bondi Beach, hand-in-hand discussing how wonderful it is they’ve offloaded their kid. Some of it would be like that and anyone with kids would be lying if they’ve never been happy to have some time away from their children. I’d say that most of their weekends are filled with work commitments, ones that go well into the night and instead of dragging their girl out of her bed into cars and resettling her again, they leave her to sleep and bond with her kind and generous Grandma. The entertainment industry is a fickle business and they’re working hard to stay relevant and build a future for their family. Good on them. They probably also spend part of their weekend reconnecting as a couple, after a week spent passing like ships in the night. To be able to do that every weekend is something many other couples would relish – it would most probably save a few marriages along the way. This is all good for children. To have parents who are relaxed, in love and recharged to spend quality time with you. Who work hard and love you dearly. Parents who have this amazing bond with their parents they feel comfortable enough to leave their child with them. Grandparents who share in their grandchildren’s lives. So many people do not have this. How lucky are they?
So, yes, I am judging the judgers. Get off your high horses. Step back, think and when you start sentences like – “I don’t like judging people, but… ” – realise you are judging somebody else’s life. Life choices which work for their family and are frankly, no-one else’s business to judge. Save your judgment for people who actually do unspeakably bad things like letting kids live in detention centres or siphoning all their money out of the country into tax havens.
And in case you’re still unsure if Rachel Finch is ok or not. Here’s a pic of her and obviously “poor neglected” child whispering fuck you all.
Now go and make yourself a cup of tea and chill out.
Love me a good anti-judgement rant – I’m with you – I have ZERO shits to give about what people wear, but then again I have zero shits to give about ‘famous’ people. I care more about normal people doing amazing things and NOT getting paid bucket loads of cash for it!
And that is why you are awesome x
I wrote about the Rachael Finch thing only in how it made me feel in reflecting back on my child who has decided that he’s too old to ever spend any time with his parents ever. again. I didn’t judge Rachael or even comment on her situation other than to say that it had made news, didn’t worry me a jot but I wondered about the commenters saying that they would love weekends off. It’s not a judgement to want to learn from others and see what makes other people tick – but people very rarely read what writers write – they read into what they are reading whatever makes them feel strongest.
So I hope you didn’t think I was wondering about the state of the world – I was just lamenting the fact that I no longer get to make the choice when to spend time with my child, he’s old enough to make that choice himself and at this age friends beat mum and dad every time
I saw you wrote something but unfortunately I haven’t had the time to read it yet. There was a lot of chatter in the media about this which got me riled up. I’ll have to go and take a look at what you wrote.
Your post reminds me of something I wrote last year about a similar but different topic. I also called my post judgey mcjudgey. lol
Great post. We would all do much better to judge less and love more!