It Takes A Village… to raise a child. So, I’m asking bloggers from my village to each write a message for me to pass on to my girls. If you’d like to write one, let me know.
This week’s message to my girls is from one of the savviest, kindest and silliest women I know, my good friend Naomi from Under The Yardarm.
This week’s message to my girls is from one of the savviest, kindest and silliest women I know, my good friend Naomi from Under The Yardarm.
Dear Girls,
Did you know we are in a club together you three and I? It’s a special club that only certain people can be in. It’s the three sister club.
There will be days it aches to be away from your sisters. Some days it’s more of a gang than a club. Sometimes it’s a war zone. And sometimes you will want to be as far away as you can be from the other two members. That’s the way it goes.
Being a sister is hard work. Like when one wears your favourite top and doesn’t tell you. Or when one has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you don’t. Jealousy is all part of being a sister. Remember that. You will be jealous of some of the things your sisters get to do, be, wear.
But the thing is, they will be jealous of you too. It’s a given. Just try to be gracious in your green eyed state. Failing that, remember to say sorry as best you can after being a total bitch to them. Because you will be. As they will be to you. That too is a given.
There will be fights. And not just when you’re young. As you get older the fights will be less frequent. But fuelled by too much gin and wine, things that have not been said – things that perhaps should never be said – will spill from angry mouths. You will say horrid, hurtful things to each other. There will be lots of swearing. And crying. But it will be okay.
That’s the beauty of being one of the three. Even after all the hurt and yelling there is love.
And no one will ever have your back when you need to complain about your parents like a sister.
Being a sister is tricky. Because there are three it means sometimes one of you is left out. It just happens that way. Different ages go better together. Try to remember to include each other as best you can.
Remember too that sometimes even if you really want to be with your sisters, they may not want to be with you. It’s not that they don’t love you. It’s just we all need some space to call our own some days.
Know too that you don’t all have to like the same things, be good at the same things or dress the same way. Be who you are, not what your sisters are.
The three of you will, no matter what, always have each other even when you are on opposite sides of the world. Especially when you are on opposite sides of the world.
When the youngest of the three has her first love, the older two will hate that person as much as she loves them, just for a little while, no matter how nice they are. The same can be said for the middle and eldest of you too – being a partner to one of the three is not for the weak.
When one of you has a heart broken, beware the one who did it, they will have three women to deal with not one.
If any one of your sisters have children you will be astounded by the way it worries you as you wait and watch her grow new life. As for watching a sister get married – remember tissues, and gin, and wear sturdy shoes to keep your bursting heart from knocking you down.
As you get older, and you move apart from each other you won’t talk every day. Imagine that. A time when you are not together each and every day. Sometimes you won’t speak for weeks. You will have lives of your own, just as it should be. But your sisters will be there when you need them.
That’s the beauty of being one of the three. There is safety in numbers. And three is such a lucky number to have.
You will go in and out of each other’s homes and lives as if they are your own. You will know where each other keeps the good wine, and you’ll never have to apologise for drinking all their gin.
Naomi x
Naomi is a Melbourne based blogger (Under The Yardarm), runner and parent to moody teens. When not blogging she teaches little folk, wears dresses and imagines being a foodie. A wine drinker and cocktail maker, she can whip you up a martini or pour you a glass of wine in no time at all. A rebel in her own mind, she unashamedly wears her heart on her sleeve and is the maker of fine cups of tea.
Honoured to have read that. Makes my heart sear a little at the loss of my own sister (by her own choice). Your girls are incredibly lucky, B. xxxx Sisters also need a mum to nurture and foster the love between them, something I never had. And look where it got me.
Oh Naomi, I know not of what you speak first hand but I know it all to be true anyway! Fabulous advice from you, as always! And B’s intro to you, so true! Xxxx
I am one of three. It is one of the most defining elements of my life. Naomi wrote it beautifully, and I’m sure it will ring true for your girls.
Naomi, so beautifully said. I just want to sit my 3 girls down and read this to them now. Although I doubt my 7 mth old would appreciate its true value 🙂
Nicely said, Naomi. I am one of three sisters too. I wish our story was as wonderful as yours.
Naomi you write the best letters! Superb. I haven’t got a sister . My granddaughters are sisters who look out for each other -aged 15& 13 -I love seeing that. Bianca, your girls are being very well-raised in this village. Love Denyse
I’m one of 3 and we’ve only lived together for 10 years of our lives. I moved (back) to South Africa, my older sister lived in Africa for Doctors without Borders for the past 15 or so years – now back in Boston, and my younger “sister” lives in Massachussetes, but a few hours away. We’ve lived our lives apart since 1994 and its probably the hardest thing sisters can ever do. I have 2 daughters who fight all the time and seem to not want to give the other any space to shine or be good at anything and that breaks my heart – they’ve lived with each other their whole lives and don’t appreciate a moment of it. I’m going to let them read your letter (they’re aged 10 and 16 so most of it should sink in) and just maybe hearing it from another source (other than their mother who’s always telling them what to do) something will sink in. Thank you.
Is Naomi still writing? Thanks.
Is Naomi still blogging -if so, where?