It Takes A Village… to raise a child. So, I’m asking bloggers, and in this case friends, from my village to each write a message for me to pass on to my girls. If you’d like to write one, let me know.

This week’s letter is from the utterly gorgeous, beautiful and sensational Bern Morley. From the moment I met her I was in raptures. 
Hi Girls,
You know, your Mum is one of those people I met and instantly fell in love with. I suspect she has that effect on most every person she meets. I guess though, I’m not here to talk about her today. No, today  I’m here to give you little ladies a bit of wisdom. About stuff I’ve learned so far. This is from me to you.

So here goes:

Firstly, find a friend that is your best.  One that will love you for what, and who, you are. One that no matter what, will always be there for you. If you are extremely lucky, you will find this person early. If not, you will know them when you meet them. It will be feel like you are in love, but without the awkward pash.

Tip Two. If you choose to have a partner, make sure they adore you. Accept nothing less. Equally important, you must adore them also. You may not meet this person the first time round. Hell, you might not meet this person until you turn 70, but you will meet them. Never settle. Life if too long to be with someone you settled for. And remember, maintain an open heart no matter how many times it gets broken. Hearts have to hurt to understand what it feels like to mend.

Tip Three. Get a job doing what you love. Identify what it is that interests you. Do you like to look after animals? To write? To build stuff?  To knock stuff down?  To cook? To clean? To draw?  Whatever it is, work towards getting yourself into that field of work as your full time job. I know it’s a total cliché, but it’s true that you will never work a day of your life if you are doing the thing you love. Hint: rarely does anyone love calculating Fringe Benefits Tax, avoid accounting.

Tip Four. Be Kind. Be Patient. Be Compassionate.  Treat others as you would like to be treated and if people are arseholes, remember it’s on them, not you.  You can only do what you can do.  Some people will be jealous, egotistical, vain, or just plain mean, but this does not give you licence to return this behaviour in kind. 

Tip Five.  Give in.  Surrender. Happiness is what makes you happy, not Mr Jones down the street. Clipping his grass beyond an inch of its life may very well be what floats his boat, and good for him, he’s found his happiness. You find yours, and as long as it’s not illegal, do all you can to cradle it and keep it safe.

Girls, I wish I’d known the above before I started out on this mammoth journey that is adulthood. I wish I’d known I looked okay back then. That it was the best I was ever going to look. I wish I’d known that when I was dumped by my first boyfriend that my life was not over. I wish I knew that owning “stuff” wasn’t all that important in the scheme of things.
In all, please know that you will all be alright. No matter what, it will all be okay.


Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80′s. Kept busy being a working mother of three children, one with Aspergers, and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. One day she’ll remember to leave the meat out for tea, but until then she writes beautiful and amusing posts on her blog which you can find here at So Now What?