I’m outraged. I’m so angry about it all. All of it. Everything I see, I dissect. I look for the loop holes, the failings, the injustice. This constant need to stand up and have my voice heard is making me hoarse. Too much yelling does that. And you know what? That makes me grumpy. I’m so busy fighting all of the battles nothing actually gets done. Not that I could actually change anything anyway, one person can’t change a thing. I don’t know why I bother, everyone is so apathetic.

I am sick and tired of young women taking their clothes off in music videos. I’m looking at you Miley Cyrus. Put your clothes back on, cover up. Stop talking about things. Know your place. That’ll make you more of a woman. Do not ever be nude or show your tongue or act out any sexual fantasies of your own because they are not yours to express they have been defined by men. OK. Now cover up, shush and act more like a lady. Women should be seen (in appropriate clothing) and not heard.

I am pissed that you dare let your kids eat Maccas. That shit will kill you, you know. All that refined sugar and fat. My child will be forever altered if she/he even steps into that fast food chain. You must make all your food from scratch and never expose young minds to such commercialism. Here, let me show you photos of what chicken nuggets are made of, oh wait I’ll just have to get my iPhone off my toddler first. See. You must show everyone you know and be outraged.

I can’t believe that woman is wearing leggings as pants. She is fat and shouldn’t let anyone see her rolls bulging out. She should know her own size and dress accordingly. Who cares if they are the only pants she feels comfortable in – she needs to put a skirt on. Who cares if she knows people are staring at her. I’m going take a photo of her arse and write a Facebook update about her to make my point, because…crimes of fashion. She should know better and it’s up to me to let her know what is appropriate, it’s the kind thing to do.

If I see another child on a plane I’m going to scream. How dare parents bring them on holidays with them. They should keep them at home and travel in their cars on journeys so as not to annoy other people. I am trying to relax on this flight. Can’t you see I’m a busy person and your children are daring to interfere with my down time. Kids have no place being in public places where people have fun, like restaurants and coffee shops. And what about breastfeeding babies? Gag.Kids are not people, they are kids. They should not be out in public.

Those two women should not hold hands walking down the street. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s not like I’m homophobic I have a lot of gay friends, I just think there’s a time and place for public displays of affection. I mean, how will I explain to my children if they see that happening. I don’t even get me started on two men kissing, that would be even harder to explain. It’d be like two men kissing and we all know that doesn’t happen.

I’m hoping this new government will be able to finally stop the boats because frankly I am sick of cashed-up oldies clogging up our tourist attractions and Starbucks. All these foreigners coming to our country and making life difficult for us. They get in the way of my day-to-day routine. They have the money to get on the boat so they should just choose to go elsewhere. I mean Australia just won’t be Australia anymore. Soon, I won’t be able to get a kebab anywhere, it’ll be all chips and mushy peas.

I can’t see why people even bother trying to understand other people. I mean you’re in this life for yourself so what’s the point in worrying about what other’s think. No-one really gives a shit about anyone else. They only care about themselves. I have enough problems of my own to be worrying about yours. And I reckon the way I do things and the way I live is the right way. No-one cares what I think anyway. It makes me so angry, that no-one listens to me that I shout at everyone. I am so fucking lonely.

*please note much sarcasm. The writer is making a futile attempt at satire.

bigwords x