So this happened. I was at the local shopping centre with two of my children. They were both hyped on sugar. As it turned out, feeding them donuts before 9am is not the best idea. They were running ahead, giggling, squealing and randomly asking for shit they do not need – “Can we go on a ride?”, “Can we have a milkshake?”, “Can we have something to eat?”, “Can we get that princess statue?”. My brain was about to pop. They were like hyenas. I was like a lion ready to pounce.
And then I saw him, a young dude trying to stop unsuspecting people and engage them in conversation, so he could try and sell stuff to them. I immediately averted my eyes. Inside I was saying I dare you. It’s best to never get eye contact. Always approach them with speed and determination. Always “get distracted” at the the moment they try to talk to you. I am a champion at never being stopped. I am like a tiger. An invisible tiger.
This time, the guy thought he’d try a new tactic. He yelled out to me. He made a near fatal mistake. And this is why. He called me: “Super Mum”.
I stopped. I pointed in his direction and in my most menacing voice I told him to “NEVER call me Super Mum”.
He was very lucky I didn’t punch in him in the groin.
The moral of the story is don’t be a fuck face.
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
Don’t be a f*ck face! I think that needs to be on a mug! You made me spit my drink. In a good way! x
Silly, silly boy.
Haha! Don’t be a fuck face, you crack me up. Those make up people in the shopping malls would ALWAYS harrass me when I walked passed, with a “hey, want a free make over?” I found this both annoying and offensive, I tried the whole avoid eye contact thing, they were like harassment ninjas, so this one time, I stopped when they asked me and yelled “DON’T YOU THINK I AM PRETTY ENOUGH” complete with eye twitch.
Problem solved xx
YES YES YES!
Bugger the mug it needs to be a t-shirt
Mug, t-shirt AND bumper sticker.
Bahahahahahahha! THANK-YOU for giving me a laugh at the EXACT moment that it was needed!! For some reason these PAINFUL sellers have now become regulars directly outside my small local supermarket. IT IS A NIGHTMARE. Shopping with two small kids is hard at the best of times and now EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to the shops I am harassed by a stranger as well… they ALWAYS make an annoying comment re: the kids, the pram, me struggling etc etc and I can feel myself BURNING inside…. ARGH!
Some of their tactics to try and get you to stop are just insulting. An Asian friend of mine was once asked ‘Where are you from?’ I too am like a tiger in avoidance. If I fail, I smile and wave while smartly walking on.
I thought you were going to say they targeted the kids. That’s the new approach at my local. Balloons, lollipops… AARGH.
Love.
Foolish, foolish man-child.
5 to 3 Mohs scale, as well. Even today, you will have a glitch in
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I have been “Hey, how you going today?” but people trying to sell me something in the street. I just say “Fine” and keep on walking. I have never been called “Super Mum” though, not even by my own kids. What a total fuck face.
You Should have punched the Fuck face in the gonads and pulled his undies over his head! x
dickhead. Obviously hasn’t been in the job long and wont be around more than a few days.
I hope a ‘super mum’ lets her kid punch him in the goolies.