Forget socks. What I want to know is where do all the hair bands go? I mean it, where the fuck do they disappear to.
With three girls in the house, plus me, I buy a lot of hair bands. In fact, I reckon I purchased about one million hair ties last year. Today, I could find two. Yep, that’s right only TWO. What’s up with that?
I know approximately 700,568 hair bands get used to put plaits and buns in Barbie, Zealfs and My Little Pony hair. I know this because I AM THE ONE WHO IS FORCED TO DO THAT SHIT. And we all know those toys have little disregard for putting hair bands back in their rightful place.
I also know at least 100,000 snap just as you are about to finish putting up your kid’s hair in a last minute dash to get to school on time. They never break when you’re on time. Never.
And I know at least 5,000 are used to flick at one and another. Yes, Twiggy, I’m looking at you.
But what about the other hair bands? Where the fuck are they?
Seriously, there must be a land where all the odd socks, plastic Tupperware lids, clothes pegs and hair bands all live harmoniously together, laughing and pointing at us, while we scurry around on our hands and knees desperately trying to find a hair band to tie back our kid’s hair so no-one can tell you haven’t brushed it for two days. Assholes.
Right, I’m off to buy another pack of them.
I wonder if it was like this way back when – As Time Goes By
bigwords x
Hi, I'm Bianca Wordley, I write about life.
Ha – I hear you! I know I am to blame for a few, as I often have quite a around my wrist (very stylish – in case of hair disaster for my daughter) and sometimes end up using instead of rubber bands. BUT – the vast majority appear under beds, in couches, school bags, clothes pockets, and, of course, on all the toys. They reappear just after I’ve restocked – of course
Sorry, I think I’ve just chucked out a million or so. Perhaps some had ‘flown’ here from your place? Six months ago we moved interstate; bought a house which had hair bands around every door knob, every cupboard handle and even out in the garden. Many of them were way past their use-by date, some difficult to extract from the handle to which they had adhered. Hairbands of every sort have driven me crazy – not because I couldn’t find them but because there were too many and there are no small girls in this household. C’est la vie?
As a mother of 3 girls – I’m with you! I used to buy school coloured ones (maroon), ones for every day (various colours) and ballet coloured ones (blonde/beige so they don’t show). Did you see the word “used to”. I’m now just happy to find a hairband in my house, let alone the right colour one for the right activity. And while we are at it – where do all the school hair ribbons go, the good hairclips that stay in, and the bobby pins and bun nets for ballet?