I”m calling it – I”m a camel hump lover. HUH? Well you see, my girl crush Jennifer Garner went on the Ellen Show this week to smack down rumours she and Ben Affleck were expecting baby number four. In fact, she said she was constantly being asked if she was pregnant because she had a baby bump. “I am not pregnant,” she sad. “But I’ve had three kids and there is a bump. From now on, ladies, I will have a bump. I will have a baby bump. And let’s all just settle in and get used to it. It’s not going anywhere.” She then went on to say how she was like a camel expect her hump was at the front. Here”s the video –
I have a camel hump out the front too. If I had paparazzi following me around everywhere I”d be constantly just about to give birth, that”s how massive my “I”ve given birth to three children, yet I am no longer pregnant although I still look overdue” baby bump is.
So that”s it, I am officially standing up with pride and saying I have a camel hump and for that reason I am a CAMEL HUMP LOVER.
How about you? Do you have a camel hump too? Has anyone ever asked you if you”re pregnant when you”re not? Did you cry like me and then think wait up – that person is a wanker? Do you ever shop in the maternity section so you can get flowy tops to cover your camel hump and then worry someone you know has seen you? Aha, yep. Do you catch glimpses of yourself in the mirror and shake your head and pull you top out a little to try and disguise it and then realise that”s a complete waste of time? Do you ever put your bag in front of your belly when meeting people for the first time and wonder if they secretly think you”re pregnant, but are too afraid to ask? Do you ever walk into a bar, drink three pints of beer and get nervous people think you”re damaging your “imaginary” baby? I do. I even feel guilty sometimes – and I”m not even pregnant.
And if you see another magazine story about Jennifer Garner being pregnant or anyone else for that matter don”t forget to ask yourself if it is a baby bump or camel hump or bloating or the angle the photograph”s been taken or the outfit choice? Woman rise up and tell the people in your life that camel humps are real, that for many people they will look pregnant for the rest of their lives, unless they choose to have surgery (which is fine too).
What is this obsession with women”s bodies? When did reporting on facts go out the window? When did reporting on people”s state of pregnancy or un-pregnancy become such important news? When did sensitivity become something to be ignored? Some women may look pregnant, but are not, but they are still trying and are having troubles to fall pregnant? Some women may look pregnant and are not. Never assume. Never ask anyone if they are in fact pregnant. Never. If someone is pregnant they will tell you when they are ready to. If someone is not pregnant, but look like they are, they will be offended. You can never win.
I grew three beautiful children out of this stretched mark-covered, flabby, bloated belly of mine. Sometimes I look at it with a critical eye and try and hide it, but mostly I look at it and remember I made people and for that I am fucking hero.
I am a CAMEL HUMP LOVER and proud of it. Are you?