The best you can be

The best you can be



I have bestitis. What is bestitis I hear you ask? Well, it’s when you get sick of reading stories telling you of all the ways you can be the best you. You know – the best you can be.

Everywhere I look I’m being told to be in the moment, just breathe, be mindful and accept yourself, flaws and all. Inspirational quotes fill all my social media sites.

I’m not sure whether to give up sugar or eat raw food? Should I have a green smoothie for breakfast or is it best to juice all my meals and drink them out of a mason jar with a paper thin, pastel, striped straw?

Live with less – here’s 10 tips how. Be more organised, I did and now my whole life is a breeze. Here’s five easy recipes to make lunch box packing fun for the whole family.

I’m so fucking busy trying to keep up with all my 30 day challenges I forgot to breathe. And I need as much air as I can get to complete my daily fitness test. I have steps to do people.

Don’t forget that I’ve got my daily schedule to keep up – wash floors on Monday, sheets on Friday. Read to the kid’s class on Thursday. Batch cook all the meals for the next seven years on Sunday. Read feminist literature on Wednesday evenings. Work. It’s important to be well rounded, I’ve got to be a role model.

And don’t forget to be grateful when you’re decluttering, writing to do lists, running, buying organic groceries, uploading images of paleo food and making sure you have time for creative and intellectual pursuits.

You can do it. You can be best the person you can be in just seven easy steps. I did it and now I feel great. Ok, I feel a little uptight and my life is totally planned out to the second, but I FEEL GREAT. DID YOU HEAR ME? I FEEL REALLY REALLY CALM AND HEALTHY AND ENGAGED IN LIFE. I CAN SHOW YOU HOW.

You might need to stop sleeping, but it can be done.

THERE’S SO MUCH PRESSURE. I need a drink, oh shit, I’m detoxing.

Make it stop, please make it stop. What’s happened to just being yourself? Is it really that vital to be the best you. How about just being you?

How do you keep up with all the requirements? If we are all the best we can be then won’t it mean we’ll become pretty much the same person? We can all aim to be super neat, super organised, super clean, super fit, super savers, super crafty, super cooks, super mindful, super stylish, super ambitious, super human beings. That’ll be super. Super boring.

I like that people have flaws. Some of the best writing and artistic pursuits stem from people’s struggles and differences. If everyone was the best they could be, then the world could quite possibly become quite bland.

I worry for people desperately trying to seek truth in this world all scrambling to better themselves – the list of musts is getting longer each day. The demands are pretty stringent. The box to fit into gets smaller and smaller.

For those people like me who struggle to just get up in the morning and be a good person, it’s ok. You are doing a fantastic job. Sure, aim for improvements to make your world a better one, but do not fall into the trap of constantly striving to be the best you you can be. You already are.

Trying to be someone else will only exhaust you.

Bianca x




  1. A-to-the-bloody-men! I didn’t post on the blog today. Know why? Cos I was out living life and having a blast all weekend! Not a single second was spent in front of the computer screen. And I loved it! As for all the challenges out there, I’m not interested in doing any of them. I don’t have the brain capacity or energy for them. I work full time. I have a husband and a dog plus plenty of friends. I blog. I have a house to clean. Food to eat. Water to drink. Exercise to…. erm, do. And that’s more than enough for me. x

  2. Some years ago, faced with all that aspirational stuff (and who was I kidding…I KNEW I couldn’t do it all…) I had an epiphany. I’d raced into the bathroom to make my hair presentable before flying out again to meet yet another impossible deadline for the day and had a moment of just looking at myself. Realised that, actually, how I was, right then, was OK. OKAY. Not my absolute best ever, maybe even not the best I”d been that day. But OK. And that was enough. And it has to be enough. Because otherwise, I’m holding myself to some kind of scale that means if I don’t met the necessary criteria, I’ve FAILED. I just don’t need to do that to myself on a regular basis, thank you very much! If I can look at myself and say to myself I’m OK, however I am at that point, it’s enough. And it’s going to have to be enough for anyone around me too!

    Nice piece, B xx

  3. I love this post! I’ve noticed an influx of challenges and I would love to take part in them but I honestly don’t have the time and would they really make me feel better anyway? Right now I have to give my best to my husband and gorgeous girls and for now that is enough.

  4. Loved reading this piece and as I did I was humoured that ironically (hope this is the correct use of this word because I’ve lived in fear of it ever since Alanis could only find a fork when she needed a knife) that what you write here is the enlightenment that the others you speak of seek.

  5. Here, here. I’m about to implode from the juggling act of being mum, let alone super mum. I’d like a gin and a good lie down!

  6. Haha. The other one I hate is the “How to be a successful blogger.” If I did all the things that I’m supposed to do I would have to quit my job or my life just to fit them all in. I think it is very easy to be successful once you are successful or best/happy/zen when you have achieved best/happy/zen. Meanwhile the rest of us have shit to do 🙂

  7. THIS is the best you. The best everyone. When we are honest and kind we are our ‘best’ selves. I used to devour self-help books (old-fashioned equivalent of sugar/paleo blogs) but years ago I realised I was exhausting myself trying to change something that was just fine the way it is. Nobody is their best self when they’re exhausted. Bravo B. x

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