I’m not one for motivational sayings, but I saw this and it rang true. I spend a lot of time immersed in this blog, it’s my “go to” place. It’s where my words tumble from me and I share my heart with you. Contrary to what many people believe I do not divulge all my secrets, only the ones I think may resonate with you, things I hope will in some way make you laugh or not feel so alone. Most importantly, it is my avenue to write and writing soothes, and thrills, me.
I’d be lying to say that I am not also driven somewhat by ego. I need the connection with others as much as much as I hope my willingness to share connects with you. I look at my stats and sometimes get caught up in the numbers. I look at my stagnant Facebook page numbers and question my ability to connect. I worry that somehow I am not sharing enough or giving enough of myself. I analyse my writing. Am I not good enough? I become the sheep and forget to be the tiger.
Then I stop. I breathe. I reevaluate why it is I started blogging in the first place. It wasn’t for the site visits, it was because I felt like I was drowning. I had just had my third child and I felt disconnected from the outside world. I wanted something for me. I wanted to walk into a room and have something to talk about other than my children. I wanted to show my girls that women are fearless.
I’ve turned blogging into a vehicle to pursue a variety of new writing opportunities. It’s provided me with a regular radio segment. And one day soon I will revisit my novel. Blogging has given me that drive and introduced me to so many people pursuing similar life ambitions. It’s been a gift.
This coming year I want to turn my attention away from the pursuit of blog growth and instead focus more on my words. Be more mindful of what I publish. Not worry about the thoughts of others or care so much about my lack of “popularity”. I will always fail if I judge myself against the success of others. I can not be creative if I spend time following in other’s footsteps, I must leap in different directions. The only person I have to compete against is myself. I need to challenge myself and you the reader more.
The end of the year always brings with it much reflection. I refuse to be drawn into the stupid mummy blogger debate any longer. People determined to pigeonhole women who write – to dumb down the sharing of experiences. I hate the term. I refuse to be drawn into the ridiculous behind the scenes hate groups and woe is me bullshit that tears apart segments of the blogging community. I don’t want to a part of all that nonsense. So much negativity and jealousy and game playing. People consumed by the numbers and the rules. People so consumed by fear, they forget they have a voice and a platform. They forget how lucky they are to be able to bring a variety of opinions into the forefront and instead spend their time bringing down others. What a waste. Blog brave.
A tiger doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. These words resonate with me.
I admire you in so many ways! You’re clever, funny, insightful and I look forward to cheering for you in all your tigress ways. X
Beautiful words Bianca. I love your blog and wider writing, but more so I love that you don’t buy into the bullshit, and most of all, I love the friendship we have made because of Blogging. You are someone I admire very much x
Well said. Feel the same about all that other stuff going on right now. I just don’t care. Whenever I get caught up in it, my mental health suffers and that’s not good for anyone.
Good for you, I look forward to reading your even more insightful and challenging words next year. Thank you for sharing
I sob at your words. They have resonated with me today.
I love this Bianca. It really resonates with me. I find myself comparing constantly, and it doesn’t do me any good whatsoever. I’ve been blogging for years, and have never cultivated much of an audience. I have a good, albeit small, readership but they are never very interactive. But you’ve reminded me of why I started blogging in the first place. I didn’t begin because I wanted to divulge all my secrets, or be the most popular, or make heaps of money monetizing my blog. I started because I love the process of writing, and I love the process of sharing and connecting with other likeminds. And I think if I follow your lead (without being a sheep AT ALL), and keep that in mind, then just maybe I might be able to unleash the tiger within 🙂
Thanks for sharing,
I heard this saying last night. Coincidence! thanks for this – so important to ME as I get so caught up on stats, why only a few followers, why am I not hanging out with the cool tweeps, stats, stats blardeeblah
I want to write because I enjoy it. I read blogs like yours because I enjoy them. Your words resonate with me.
Bianca you are one of the most fearless, beautiful, wonderful and hilarious women I know. The fact that you can be a tiger with your words amazes me each time I come here. Keep on your path, it’s a good one. x
Bianca – that is a great mantra – Blog brave. And I reckon we can probably apply this to other areas of our life too…Thanks for sharing your reflections.
yes, yes & yes. xxxxxxxxxxxx i am SOOOOOOO on the same page sista. xxxxxxxxx
Lovely post, Bianca. The thing I often have to remind myself of with regard to blogging is that, while it’s wonderful when readers feel connected to me, they don’t actually KNOW me. They may think they do, and that feeling of ‘knowing’ sometimes leads people to say nasty or judgy things if I write something that doesn’t match their perception of me. But at the end of the day, they only know a very small part of me and what I’m about; they only know the elements of me that I choose to share. So while certain comments may sting, they’re not actually a reflection of me as a whole person. You either! Bigwords is an important part of you, but it’s not ALL of you, nor should it be. As Neil Gaiman says in ‘Blueberry Girls’, we are ‘ladies of paradox’ and it’s bloody wonderful!
You are amazing. x
I love this. Just love it. And you x
Love this. A lot. Thank you !
Such a wonderful post B. Every last bit of it resonates with me but especially this line:
Most importantly, it is my avenue to write and writing soothes, and thrills, me.
Amen. I know I dont always comment (slacker), but I read and I adore and I think you are fabulous! xx
Resonates with me too!
Love visiting your blog…you put my thoughts into words so eloquently!
Well said. Tis a funny world the blogging world. I blog because I’m an introvert in an extroverts world. Sometimes it’s the only way I feel I can say ‘stuff’ and be heard.
I LOVE THIS. And you xx
Those words resonate with me too :). It is good to remember why we started this, and what we get out of it. It is not meant to be a popularity contest, and our writing will have all the joy sucked out of it if it was. I think you’re awesome if that helps 😉
So glad I read this. I’m new to the blogging world and in just a few short weeks I have already questioned if what I am writing will appeal to the masses and keept one eye on the amount of comments or likes. This is not why I started writing and I want my space to remain a true reflection of me. I will attempt to ‘blog brave’. Thank you.
Oh my God, Bianca, you are in my brain with those words. I have been stressing all week about how I haven’t blogged since Monday, and how the precious few readers I have will all be gone if I don’t post something. But in the crazy, insanely busy world of pre-Christmas lunacy I am running, running, RUNNING. With no time to write. *sigh*
I need to concentrate on the tiger and piss that sheep off. Thanks for the reminder. xx
Just what I needed to read today. It’s like you put into words what’s in my heart! Thank you for re-grounding MY perspective. Happy holidays!
Oh, and by the way, your blog inspires me, uplifts me and resonates with me. Despite what you may think, you have never veered off course.
I blog because I feel disconnected with the outside world. Your words are so true. I have never been able to explain why I started my blog, but I think you just did. I am a 44 year old woman, with several degrees, who has become a Stay at Home Mum. My world is full of feeding, nappies and cleaning. Blogging allows me to connect with me, if the outside world listens, well maybe just maybe they will talk back to me.
Thank you for this post. You have just spoken on my behalf. I especially like “I can not be creative if I spend time following in other’s footsteps”
And people so obsessed with self promotion!! It’s so boring!! I love your blog because I love how you write. You are genuine and real. It has been great resin you this year! Xxx
Awesome post, Bianca. I haven’t blogged for months, but after reading your words I can’t wait to write in it again. Thank you.
Hear Hear! Small-minded people don’t think there’s enough to go around so they expend their energy trying to tear other people down instead of spending that time lifting their game and creating their best work. I like the tiger analogy. Sometimes it takes courage to be the person you are, not the person other people want you to be.