This is a photo of me on Jan 1 of this year.

I am a little tired obviously, but I have a good sparkle in my eyes.

This is a photo of me today.

I am 11 kilos heavier in this photo. I look tired, my sparkle is a bit forced and to be honest I think I look five years, not eight months, older.

Today, I put myself back on the weight loss wagon.

The hardest part about weight loss is that you are always forced to begin the process when you are feeling your worst. And weight loss requires much positivity and will power – two factors that are severely lacking in your psyche when you’re feeling downright disgusted in yourself. Ashamed.

So, today I will look at photos of myself and remind myself I can do it. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

This will be my worst day. Not saying that tomorrow, or the days following, won’t be hard. Each day will be a struggle against my demons. My relationship with food is like an addiction. I have to take it one day at a time.

I want to look in the mirror and see the person I want to be staring back out at me. At the moment my vision is clouded. I am unhealthy. I feel old. I feel flat. I feel sad.

Today will be my rockbottom. I will crawl out of this hole again. I’ve done it before I can do it again.

Today is my day.

Do you struggle with demons?

bigwords xx