the bword

I HAVE LOST THE SAME 15 kilos about five times now. Once I lost it with Weight Watchers. Once I lost it with pilates and the gym. Once I lost it by going on a diet of heartache, wine and cigarettes. Once I lost it by cutting out all the foods I love. And once I lost it doing the 12WBT program.

After getting to my desired weight, I very efficiently put the entire 15 kilos back on again. Each time I chose to use the same method – booze, donuts and sitting on the couch watching reality tv programs. I am very accomplished at reaching my goal weight of fat.

I am a see saw weight professional. If I could turn it into a business I would not only be overweight, I”d also be very wealthy. I am the prime example as to why weight loss companies thrive. I”m the ultimate client – a weight loss goldfish. They can teach me new tricks, motivate me into action and get me speed walking right towards to elusive number on the scales. Once I get there though, I completely forget what I”ve been working towards and eat my way back to where I started and then some. The thing is, I”m quite good at getting to my goal so I happily tell everyone how great *insert weightless plan here* is and how I only had myself to blame for stacking the weight back on.

The longer I struggle with my weight the more I realise that Scorpio horiscope states that the best solution is a healthy way of life. yes I am to blame for own body struggles, but weight loss companies are also big players in us “fatties” predicament. Let”s face it, it”s not really in the best interest of weight loss companies for everyone to be successful. Failure means repeat business. It”s the business of weight loss after all. They have mastered such easy-to-follow plans. Processed diet foods, ridiculously low calorie targets, simple exercise plans and fabulous motivational materials. The before-and-after shots are genius. If she can do it so can I. Yes, I can.

What isn”t shown is the after-after photo, taken one year down the track when the “success story” has piled back on a significant amount of the weight and is lounging around in their soft pant, stuffing their faces with salt and vinegar chips and slugging wine straight from the bottle because they feel so ashamed. What isn”t included in most of these weight loss programs is ongoing maintenance support or sessions with a psychologist to help you get to the root of your weight struggle. Why are you overweight to begin with? Why do you fear success? Why do you feel like you”re not worthy of being the best “you” you can be? Why does chocolate pudding taste so fucking good?

News of actor Magda Szubanski parting ways with Jenny Craig for the second time, after failing to lose the weight that she put on after losing the weight the first time she signed with them, as an ambassador has everyone furiously writing about why she is overweight and why dieting doesn”t work. I sincerely hope she is swanning about some European city eating croissants and laughing with friends because it”s hard enough putting yourself out there and failing let alone putting yourself out there and then being dissected on early morning chat shows and in tabloid newspapers. The truth is, no matter how easy weight loss companies want everyone to think weight loss is, it is not. For all the righteous skinny people out there who will be making statements like: “All fat people have to do is eat less and exercise more. It”s not rocket science” there would be hundreds of people like Magda and myself who know it”s a lot harder than simply walking and not eating burgers.

We all know what we have to do and if it was that simple for us then we”d lose the weight and keep it off. No-one wants to feel the butt of other people”s judgement. If weight loss companies really cared if people lost weight they”d put some of their profits into getting to crux of the problem, but then where would that leave them? Exactly, why would they want to do that? Fat people are good for business.