Sometimes I think you’ve done a lot of growing up. Sometimes I think, wow Australia you’ve really come of age. And then a few things happen all at once and I realise you’ve pulled the wool over my eyes. You’ve tricked me with your woman as Prime Minister and a hijab wearing, Muslim in Masterchef ways. There was a glimmer of hope, that Australia was maturing as a nation.
Australia you’re letting me down. Australia you’re making it hard for me to feel proud of you. Australia you’re being a downright dick head.
Aside from the massive, tap dancing, flashing lights, fluoro covered, bikini wearing elephants in the room – same-sex marriage and asylum seekers – Australia’s been displaying some other poor, poor form of late.
Here’s my Top Five Reasons Australia’s Shitting Me:
1) Leisel Jones is NOT FAT. I don’t even want to qualify that statement. It’s just fact. She is NOT FAT.
2) The Shire is not reality tv. There is nothing real about it. Not even the bad acting’s real. OK, Beckaa’s boobs are real, but she’s working damn hard to get Daddy to buy her a new set because there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR DAD BUYING YOU NEW BOOBS. Next someone will tell me that bringing back Big Brother is a chance for “real” Australians to be given a voice in a television landscape. No, I firmly believe bogans have been given far too much of voice.
3) And that brings me to women on TV. The Circle’s axed, but shows titled “Badass” are heavily promoted. Women deserve a fair break on Australian television. Australian content featuring women, talking about issues, that politically aware, smart women like to discuss, are deserved a fair go on Australian television. Where are these shows? It is 2012 people.
4) Gold is NOT EVERYTHING. Seriously, Australia, how do you look at your kids and tell them that winning is all that matters? It’s not. How do I explain to my girls that if they try really hard and put everything into something they love that they might get blasted for not winning and not celebrated for giving it their best? How do I tell my girls that as long as you are doing something that you love, that you should be proud of yourself? How do I do that when everywhere I look people are getting bitched at for not coming first? How do I do that when young athletes who have trained their heart out sob at news conferences about how they’ve let everyone down, while holding an Olympic silver medal?
5) The words vagina and discharge are used in an advertisement for knicker liners and there’s a public outcry. One complainant to the ad watchdog was concerned “young children might be watching”. Meanwhile, a guy shoves a firecracker in between his butt checks and he’s hailed a hero – a stupid hero, but “man, I reckon he’d be a fun bloke to hang out with”. I didn’t hear anyone complaining about the words firecracker and arse being in a sentence together. Are you fucking serious?
What’s been shitting you lately?
My list is as follows-
The Olympics. It’s only sport!
Drivers who do not give the thankyou wave. Wave damn it!!!
People who went to public schools dissing public schools & sending their kids to private ones. Not all public schools are bad!
My dog CONTINUALLY pissing on the floor. Enough already. I know it’s cold & wet outside but just STOP!
Rant over .
Oh Reannon! I’m so with you with the stop pissing on the floor! My dog is doing the same AND IT’S PISSING ME OFF!
I think you covered it all! I was realy annoyed that Emily felt that she had let her parents down because she had won a silver. I mean seriously what have her parents been telling her?! Geez I’d be happy if they won a bronze or even came in dead last because I know that they would’ve given it there all… what is with people?! Seriously!!
Yes, same, all of the above, Bianca. Great post.
Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto and ditto.
I am from England, and the media actually reported the LIesel Jones stuff, it made me so mad, if she had been too ripped she would have been accused of being too manly, too thin, accused of having some kind of problem. Makes me sick.
Agree about the sobbing Silver medalist … that girl worked damn hard to get there – the Olympics!! – she got to London ..spectacular ..did you happen to see our goofy kiwis celebrating their equestrian bronze? Bronze ..after controversy that may have robbed them of silver ..sweet sad swimmer – take a breath and find your joy honey! At least she didn’t sit on the mat for an hour and a half…
Oh and the ‘fat’ swimmer..ffs ..see above ..can swim faster than anyone calling her fat! My 9 year daughter thinks shes Awesome, wants to swim like her… get a grip you big mouthed nasty minded morons. Yep..gripe over return to your lives ..pass the wine 😉
I am now 80 years of age and after reading your post I feel I have to agree with what you say. I don’t know of those TV shows you mentioned as we are rather conservative and fussy about what we watch but most of what I see advertised seems to me to be sheer unadulterated trash. For many years I was proud of being Aussie born but these days I am not so sure. Today I hear of a well know politician going off at a woman ‘cos she didn’t have any hot pies and he thought she had made a rude comment about our PM. OMG what next!!!!!!
These are all the things that have been shitting me. When The View is telling us we’re a bunch of idiots, something is seriously wrong.
Well said, great comment about the olympics!!!!
Yes. yes, and HELL YES!
Great post. I totally agree with all of your points. What’s going on Australia? Kaz
Agree with every point, Bianca! Especially the winning gold bit. I’ve been trying to explain that to my little girl. At 4 years old she’s obsessed with winning (inspite of my best efforts to bring her up otherwise!). I could add to this list with Channel 9’s coverage of the Olympics. First world problem, but it is irritating me nonetheless.
Agree with everything you’ve said B. Tis all very sad to me. The other thing that really shitted me about the Olympics was hearing that Ray Warren fellow say, “those people” when referring to the Chinese & Korean swimmers. Seriously? No wonder we are seen as racists!
The whole world shits me but you’ve made a jolly good start. Agree x 4 billion.
Excellent post! Could not have said it better myself! I refuse to watch the Olympics on TV. Just cannot bear to put myself through the asinine commentators. Well done to any athlete to be good enough to be on the team and compete! I feel very sad for the one you mentioned upset about letting everyone down for *only* getting silver.
A-fecking-men! and Hallelujah! Totally agree xxx
I agree with everything you’ve said, but it’s not just Australia. I’m with Cate Bolt – it’s the whole world (well, the bits with the cash).
The Leisel Jones debacle really shitted me this week. What shitted me the most about it was the journo who ‘broke’ the news then started to report on the outcry from ‘mass media speculation about her weight’. He started the fire, then reported on it. Argghh. So yes, at times the media in this country really shits me.
Spot on! With everything. 4) is annoying me especially. Not the athletes – I think it’s okay for Magnussen, for example, to be upset about missing gold by .01 sec when he’s the world champ – but Australia’s reactions. And some of the interviewers’ questions. Can’t we just interview them later after they’ve dealt with their emotions?
I actually was thinking about writing a similar blog post. The media’s reaction to the Olympics both in the lead-up and during has been terrible. Making the Olympic finals is an achievement in itself. Why is that not being celebrated???
Well all that stuff… now.
The thing that’s really been shitting me (and I cannot tell a lie) is reading about NYC on so many blogs and I’m not there.
Yes all of this gives me the shits. You can also throw in the fact that none of the major news publications ran stories on domestic violence after the 4 Corners story this week. I could go on and on but I’ll be here all night.
i agree with all of the above, and maybe can i add that it shits me that Australia (or many Aussies i know and have met) usually get pretty SOOKY when a foreigner – gasp! – dares putting the finger on all this shit. so thank you.
if you truly love a country, yours or the one you chose (!) as your home, you critisize it.
Just like you would tell a good friend when he is acting like an arse.