I am a big believer in sharing parts of myself with others. I do this because when I let people take a glimpse into my world, it sometimes helps those who are struggling with a similar problem. It makes the world a little less lonely – for me and them.
This drive of mine to be transparent and honest on my blog unsettles some people – those who choose to keep their life private. They prefer to only share with those closest to them. I completely understand, honesty can be confronting. When you open your soul to others it is scary. You are then a target of judgment. Or simply, you feel it is no-one else’s business and that is fair enough. It isn’t.
When I start to write about my experiences I always ask myself if anyone else will feel exposed. If in doubt, I ask the person directly. I do not want my friends to feel like every time we are together I am trying to condense our experiences into a 500 word blog post. That is not what real life is about. I often say to people my blog is my story, it is not my place to tell yours, yet sometimes our stories entwine.
When I was a journalist I was always telling other peoples’ stories. I was bound by a code of ethics. Impartiality was my driving force. Now, as a blogger, I have no such restrictions and can discuss openly what drives me. I am free to tell my own story. Sometimes what I write is purely fictional, sometimes it is raw; all of the time it is edited. Because I am a blogger it does not mean I have signed my bloodied name on a contract of holy vows to rip my flesh from my body, exposing my raw bones to you. You do not know my whole truth.
Yet, with my new-found candour, I have also walked into a room full of critics with ferocious appetites. Social media has made judgement such an easy pursuit. Every word I write and release to the world is dissected and served back to me in tiny chewed-up morsels. People dine on my experiences and spit them out if unpleasant with such force it’s like rats with gastro. My words are pushed down into an over-flowing garbage bin, layer-upon-layer of unpalatable morsels gathered from throughout the internet. Those words which are enjoyed are rolled around the reader’s mouth by their eager tongues and savoured. They are presented neatly on fine china so others can dine upon them. Peoples’ hearts and souls passed around shared tables. Words are so easily digested that people forget their manners; they cannibalise you.
In the not so distant past it was just celebrities and politicians who were at the mercy of the connoisseur, now anyone who is a purveyor of truth in the online space can be ripped to shreds or delicately appreciated. You are open slather.
This force of instant judgement has made those who write even more vehement in their discussion, too quick to spew forth their opinions. Quiet words, gently opening yourself to the world, are being lost among the shouting. It is of little wonder I often find myself having to defend blogging which helped me rediscover my personal equilibrium. Even I’ve struggled to find my place in this increasingly unpalatable arena. Drive-through judgment is indigestible and always leaves me unfulfilled and hungry for something more authentic. Real words with substance. Real food without the spit.
So, next time you wonder why I share my truth with strangers it is because, in all honesty it helps me. And sometimes it helps others. I wouldn’t put myself out there for any other reason. The piranhas would eat me alive.
bigwords x
Oh how I love you, truly amazing post. Xx
Bianca – I used to be exceptional at sharing my truth, then I moved cities, married into a certain family, and all of a sudden being truthful was bad. This happened to me IRL. I can only imagine how horrendous that would be online.
I read almost all of your posts. I love your honesty. That’s why I read your blog.
We really need to build a fort of some kind around your writing and other truthsayers that tells the naysayers to get fucked and mind their own bloody business.
Angela xx
PS, I’m in the throes of finding my truth again, after an almost decade long hiatus. Watch out world x
This is great. I feel exactly the same way. Interesting to me that you ask people before blogging about them. What do you do when they say no? Do you always give up the post?
I love your honesty. I’m lucky that not too many piranhas have entered my blogging world. I fear that it is because I am not brave enough in my writing. Because it is bravery that attracts them, not blandness x
What a beautiful post from an honest and beautiful writer.
Don’t let the negativity get to you, your honesty and your words will live longer and stronger than their tripe. And your writing helps more people than you will ever know!
Beautiful words.
I agree with you about how honestly can help others.
Sharing our positives can brighten up someone’s day.
Sharing our negatives can be a positive for someone else….that makes it all worthwhile.
Like you I speak my truth to help me.
It makes me sad the vitriol that has been around the traps of late. That said, I won’t let it change the way I will write. don’t let the nay Sayers get you down. Xxx
Amen. I have been pondering this too. Thank you for putting it so eloquently. Sandra
I LOVED this post!
Thank you so much for sharing this thought!
XX
Liliana
I LOVED this post!
Thank you so much for sharing this thought!
XX
Liliana
So much of this resonates, and I think that’s part of the beauty of blogging….and hopefully a good enough reason to keep sharing a bit of ourselves x
Amen lovely. You just described exactly how I feel about blogging and why I choose to share xx
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I often find myself writing a deeply heartfelt post, then either deleting the whole thing or at least editing heavily to remove the most personal details. I’m always impressed at the bravery of bloggers who can share their most sensitive issues and fears, and so often it’s these posts that I relate to the most. No one should ever underestimate the value of a “me too” moment. Thanks for always sharing x