HAPPY NEW YEAR! I love the beginning of the year, for no other reason than it means I’ll get to jump in Audrey the Caravan and have a summer holiday. Man, I need a holiday. Aside from that, I’ve found that the years tumble by so fast that they’ve rolled into one big massive day that keeps going and going and going. I don’t even know how old I am anymore.
And it is for this reason alone, that I no longer make NY Resolutions. Every day is a blessing so every day should be treated as a new beginning. Even on the days of bitterness or despair, there is still a sunset and a sunrise. They are moments of immense beauty that book-end life’s ups and downs. Be fucking grateful you are alive.
It doesn’t mean you can’t have a go at things that shit you though.
Here’s 10 Facebook types who should be stopped in 2016:
- The “me too”. You know these people, the ones who constantly feel the need to tell everyone about their own personal struggles when someone else reaches out for compassion. For example: A person puts a Facebook update up talking about how they feel really unwell or they’ve had a particularly hard day or they’ve lost a loved a one. Enter the “me too” person. Instead of replying with something like: “I hope you’re feeling better soon” or “thinking of you” or “is there is something I can do to help?” – they say: “I feel really sick too, have for days” or “my day’s been terrible (and lists everything like it’s a competition for attention)” or “I lost a loved one once (explains how, when, where etc)”. Don’t they know this is not the time to go about their own issues and instead listen, acknowledge and provide support. Get over yourself for one second.
- The “opinionater”. I am an opinionated person. I write opinion columns, but I don’t need to voice my opinion on everything. I have been working particularly hard to stop making opinions when someone writes a Facebook update about something they like and I dislike. For example: “Can’t wait for footy season to start”. I could reply “Football is mind-numbingly boring”, instead I say nothing. There’s no need for my opinion at that time. Walk away from the computer. I wish others could start doing the same. Why bring down someone’s joy? Why be an ass?
- The “woe is me”. I am a big believer in being honest about how you’re feeling. I am also keen for people to share their struggles as it makes other realise that no-one is perfect and we all have battles. Someone’s clinically curated Instagram feed doesn’t reflect the reality of life and anyone who believes it does, is a little naive. There is a place for upbeat, mundane, stupid, funny, political, grumpy, loving and disappointed Facebook updates. Life is not a flat-line, neither should your Facebook feed. However, I have started hiding or deleting friends who use Facebook to complain all of the fucking time about everything. They also tend to be an “opinionater” and a “me too” as well. They suck the joy out of life.
- The “educator”. Fine, share the odd thing you’ve learned, but do not make it your life’s mission to teach me about your latest obsession. It might sound harsh, but I do not care. Just because you’ve decided to follow (insert fad here) and now you think it is the best thing for humanity, doesn’t mean you should make all your friends follow your path. I LOVE sugar, OK?!
- The “activist”. Being politically aware and active in the world is very important to me, but being single-minded and preaching about your beliefs constantly, just gives me the shits.
- The “know it all”. They are always online. Every time anyone writes an update they are there adding their two cents worth. If someone’s done something of worth, they’ve done it before. They know everything there is to know about the entire god damn universe and they’re not afraid to let you know about it.
- The “smug one”. I get it social media is not your thing. You don’t have to like it. But why open a Facebook account so you can go on about how Facebook is ruining modern society. No-one forced you to engage in screen time. Go on and engage in meaningful one-on-one experiences in your ye olde technology-free world and get over yourself.
- The “ignoramus”. It’s not cool to be an idiot, but it also doesn’t mean you have to be an expert, just be aware of the world. And saying anything remotely sexist, racist, weightest, you name it, is just plain bullshit. Stop being an asshole.
- The “joker”. Not everything is funny. Not everything is a joke. Sarcasm has its place. Sometimes just being a kind person or skipping to the next Facebook update is a better option for you. Or watch some Question Time – there is always time for cynicism when watching politicians.
- The “meme obsessed”. It’s a community service to share a good meme, it’s a public nuisance to share 4,000 of them. I do not want to know what my hooker or elf name is. I do not want to know what 80s movie I am. I do not want to like some kid’s picture who is doing a class experiment to share his picture around the world. Stop it. For realz. And no, that (airline, hotel, famous person) is not going to give you free shit if you share this post. It’s a scam.
I could go on. I really could. I also need to admit I’ve done all of these things myself.
Have you got any to add to the list?