The Bachelor

The Bachelor



I only watched two minutes of (use deep and wildly romantic voiceover voice) Australia’s first season of The Bachelor. It was crap. I did not expect anything else from it. So, for this reason I am already cringing in anticipation of all the blog posts, tweets, Facebook updates about the objectification of women and HOW IT MUST STOP. No, what must stop is all the predictable pontificating.

It’s not like it’s a surprise. You have seen the other four hundred million Bachelors and Bachelorettes (insert comments about the contestants’ chests and sweet smiles)? Or perhaps if you have been living under a reality tv rock (it’s covered with neatly trimmed moss and has a tan) – you have seen the television ads, right? Please do not turn on this predictably over-acted, manipulatively edited and unoriginal show and expect something that it is not. It is highly formulaic reality television which executives are hoping will boost the network’s sagging bottom line. It is also a little funny.

I’m not going to write about the women’s portrayal, their “dumbing down” and their incessant cat fighting as they claw their way to their five minutes of television fame. Nor am I going to comment on the man’s greasy hair, lack of integrity and the upcoming highlights which show him pashing many different scantily clad, claws out, scary-eyed women. Neither am I going to say anything about how botox makes young, overly tanned, beauty contestant ball gowned wearing, soapy make-uped women look very, very old. And don’t even get me started on the transformation of the host Andrew G, ┬ánow known as Osher – I thought he was a photographer in LA now?

But what I will say is if the show makes you giggle then watch it. If it makes you scream and throw things at your flat screen then turn it off. But please do not waste your energy analysing the sexism at the core of this show. It was a given, your outrage is expected.

Instead get grumpy at the choice of flower used in the show. Seriously, have we not moved on from long-stemmed red roses?


bigwords x




  1. I’m sorry but I got grumpy and pontificated. It was so shit and I feel dirty having watched it (and I wasn’t even in control of the remote, just saying)…… but it does make me wonder – did they get some free gipsofila with their roses?

  2. Dont get me wrong – I adore Aussie men (as a recent blog post firmly attests) but this dude is hardly representative of Australian Bachelorhood. He should be wearing boardies, an ironic T-shirt and double pluggers. Dates should consist of eating pizza straight from the box in front of the footie finals. A BBQ cook off would be a nice touch.

  3. I have recorded it to watch without being bombarded by ads for other shit TV shows which I may or may not end up viewing. I am aware of the concept and watched the odd US episode to know it can be vomit-inducing. I also find it funny because it is so ridiculous. The guy (or girl) speak of searching for ‘true love’ and then snog everything with a pulse. They go on dates where you think, wow they are so great together…and then in the next episode, the same thing happens with someone else! My only inkling of hope is I hear a few of the couples have actually married and stayed together. But only a handful out of six-thousand seasons and versions lol.

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